(Closed) Awkward Bride-To-Bee!

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
9721 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Fiance and I don’t have a ton of friends. We will have a few close friends at the wedding and everyone else is family. We are each only having our best friends and our sibilings in the wedding party (2 on my side, 3 on his). We could invite people we aren’t as close to but I’m really looking forward to celebrating with those I enjoy spending time with the most. 

Post # 17
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

If it makes you feel better, we are having no bridal party and our wedding will be immediate family, one close set of family friends on each side, and one friend (and their SO) each, totaling under 30 guests. My Fiance is not social at all and while I am more social than he is, as soon as I get beyond my one best friend, everyone is sort of in the same “category” and it would bump our guest list up significantly. I’m super excited for our intimate wedding. 

I hope your mom will lay off with the comments! Your day will be lovely.

Post # 18
Member
1960 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m similarly not too social, and a lot of my friends are my fiance’s friends who are also now my friends. And so, mostly guys, and not my friends alone. I think I invited maybe like 5 of my “own” friends and the rest are fiance’s friends or joint. We (my suggested) opted not to have a bridal party at all. At first I felt kind of weird about it, but the closer we get to the wedding, I’m actually pretty happy with that choice.

Post # 19
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Half Moon Bay

I am just having my friend as MoH and we have 26 guests total. Very small and just how we want it. Also, something we did was have a small engagement party so almost everyone could meet my fiance if they hadn’t already. It went really well.

It is your day, not your mom’s. Do what makes you comfortable and happy!

 

Post # 20
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Much better to only have family in your bridal party, you never know what friends will remain in your life in 30 years to come and do you really want to look at your wedding album and see bridesmaids you fizzled out with two years after the wedding and whose names you’ve forgotten? It makes sense to keep the bridal party as family and don’t let your mom get into your head about friends, you’ve got your nearest and dearest down.

Post # 21
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t think that 3 bridesmaids is a small bridal party by any means and is, in fact, about the average. Who really wants to have 8 or 9 people standing up the front on either side, the people on the ends not being able to see or hear anything? I have a Maid/Matron of Honor, 2 bridesmaids and a junior bridesmaid (so I technically have 4, although the junior bridesmaid wants to sit down and not stand during the ceremony) whilst my Fiance has 3 groomsmen. It was important to us to ask only those people whom we are close with – I’ve got both my sisters, one of my FSILs and my best friend whilst he has my sister’s long-term boyfriend and 2 close friends.

As for your guestlist being mostly family, don’t sweat it! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting to invite people who’ve never met your Fiance – this day is supposed to be about the two of you and the people closest to you, so do whatever makes you most comfortable!

Post # 22
Member
18 posts
Newbee

mintobebride:  I had one BM- my 8 year old daughter. I’m not really close to my sister (friendly enough but not close) and don’t really have friends- I wish I did, but I’m shy and it just doesn’t happen easily. Our guest list was family, dh’s friends and one joint friend couple. I was very conscious of it in the run up and felt a bit awkward about it, but on the day i hardly noticed and didn’t feel awkward at all!

Post # 23
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee

mintobebride:  You’re allowed to do what you want. Practice saying this: “Mom, there’s no one way to have a wedding. This is what’s meaningful to me and I’m excited to celebrate.” Repeat as necessary. 

Post # 24
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m totally like you as I’m not a social Sally at all, this was my entire wedding party (including the person taking the photo) and they were all the groom’s family and friends I had none of my friends there as I moved 200 miles away from my home town when I met my husband. If you and your Fiance are happy with the numbers then that should be all that matters. 🙂 xx

Post # 25
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

im having 3… I think thats a perfectly normal number, why would you want more?

 

I often assume people with big wedding paries are superfical show offs or got stuck inviting all their female relations because honestly who has 8+ best friends

Post # 26
Member
3884 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Your mum is very insensitive/mean to be making those comments! Plus it’s just not true, 3 bridesmaids is a totally normal number. I’m having 3 and I think it’s perfect – too many more and it starts getting insane with dresses and transport etc etc! My sister had 2, and one of my friends only had me! I don’t think it even occured to anyone to think it was weird. As for uneven guest lists, it seriously doesn’t matter. Have the people you love there and however it adds up is perfectly fine. My sister was the same – she had I think 3 friends and the rest was family, and it was in her husbands home town so he had a lot more on his ‘side’. No one even noticed, plus she was able to have some really special times with those 3 friends (they had all flown in for the wedding). Weddings bring out weird things in people and it sounds like your mum is getting weird about this for some reason, so just shrug it off. You should also tell her that her comments upset you and you’d appreciate if she stopped.

Post # 27
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I have 6 girls (sisters, Future Sister-In-Law, Neice and two friends) and I totally regret it. It is so hard for that many peoples personalitys to collide, and to organize anything.  If I were to do it again I would only have 2. So I feel like 3 is  a perfect number! 

Post # 28
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

I think 3 is a perfectly reasonable number! A small an intimate wedding can be really fun. It’s a lot better than inviting more bridesmaids who aren’t close to you and feeling awkward on the day.

Post # 29
Member
2631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

3 is not small…. I’d say that’s average?  I’m having one- just my sister!

Post # 30
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m right with you! I’m not social at all, really; never have been. We’re having four on each side: my Maid/Matron of Honor is my SIL, and my bridesmaids are my fiancee’s sister, his best girl friend, and maybe (I posted about this is a different thread) a girl I used to be friends with in high school. If not her, then my fiance’s adult neice. I have zero friends coming to the wedding; my side is all family. No coworkers, either. 

Sometimes I feel awkward about it. but then I remember that this is literally the only time it has bothered me. I mean, I don’t regret not haivng friends any other day of the week, why now? Meh, it’s fine. I have more fun with my family, anyhow! 

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