(Closed) Awkward Date Substitution Request

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

“I’m so sorry, Brian, but we invited you and Nancy specifically because we know and love you both.  If Nancy can’t come, we’ll definitely miss her, but we’d prefer to keep the guest list to only those we know.”

Post # 4
Member
8816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sundaymonkey:  invitations are non transferable.  if you invited mr and mrs smith, and mrs smith can’t come, ms jones can’t come in her place.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Could you just tell him that you feel bad that he would have to split from his wife to attend 2 weddings and you’re 100% OK with him not attending your wedding so he can go to the other wedding with his wife? If he’s not that close to you, then him not attending your wedding shouldn’t be a huge deal.

Post # 6
Member
17 posts
Newbee

What a weird request.  I would tell him a combination of what peachacid and FiaonneCake suggested.

“We invited you as a couple as we know and love you both and we really want to keep the guest list to people we know. We will of course understand if you choose to attend the other wedding with your wife.  Please let us know and take care!”

Post # 7
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sundaymonkey:  Just make a point of saying that the venue space is extremely limited, and while you would have loved to have both him and Nancy attend, if she is unable to go, you have other friends and family who you need to invite in her stead…and that you hope he understands and that you look forward to seeing him at the wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@sundaymonkey:  it’s ok to say no I guess. It was also very respectful of him to ask you in advance instead of randomly showing up with someone else and saying “hey, you had 2 seats reserved for me anyway”. I don’t know. Whatever works best for your budget. But be tactful about it because as I mentioned before it was very nice of him to ask you first. 

Post # 9
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@sundaymonkey:  My thing is, he probably wants someone he knows well enough to sit with/talk to.  if you don’t know him super well, do any of your other guests? would he feel comfortable walking around just him?

I’d let him bring a date.

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