(Closed) Awkward engagement party dilemma! Advice?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

As much as you are very right on the ettiquette front when it comes to invites to an engagement party, you do have the ability to fall back on the fact that you didn’t control the invites as the party was being thrown for you and your thoughts weren’t taken into consideration.

As you said, the people you really aren’t close to aren’t going to expect an invite so you should have any issues there.  If any of the “cusp” people ask later on you can say something about “having a small intimate wedding with primarily family” but that you were so glad you’d been able to celebrate with them at the engagement party.  Unlike showers, people don’t usually bring gifts to engagement parties so you shouldn’t have too many issues there.

I wouldn’t say anything to anyone until they ask you.  People may forget and not really even notice but if they do, just address each on a case-by-case basis as they arrise.

Post # 4
1032 posts
Bumble bee

1) I wouldn’t say anything to your friend. Let’s face it, guys and wedding etiquitte do not always go hand in had. Plus he can’t really “univite” people, what’s done is done, and he is trying to do a very generous thing for you two. I do very much understand your frustration though… :/

2) I would tell the “cuspers” that you are having a very small and intimate wedding. I know that can feel rough, but I am sure they will understand that a wedding is expensive and that invites are limited to CLOSE friends and family.

3) I would do the same at suggested above, but wait for them to ask. I bet a good number of them won’t say anything… and perhaps you can do a little toast at the party that everyone hears, thanking your friend “for inviting everyone here today, and so generously throwing this shower”… that way you are gracious as well as sneakily blaming him for the guest list 😉

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