- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
Ugh, I am stressed!
A well-meaning friend is throwing my fiance and me an engagement party. Before the invites went out, I sent him a list of some people I am pretty sure he doesn’t know but who we’d like to have invited. I also asked him to touch base with us about the final guest list for the engagement party, because I have been reading up on etiquette and wanted to avoid having people invited to the party that are not invited to the actual wedding.
Imagine my surprise when he sends the invitation out (via email) and then sends me the invite list after the email has already been sent! And on top of that, when I looked at the guest list I found the he had not only not included the people I specifically asked him to include…but also HAD included many people who I have not spoken to in years, don’t particularly like, and are NOT invited to the wedding.
On top of that, there are a bunch of people on the engagement party list that I’m having even a harder time figuring out how to deal with: the people who are on the “cusp” of our wedding guest list. They are friends, but we are struggling to keep a small guest list size and many of them will not make the final list. It is one thing for the people I don’t like to be invited–they will likely know they are not invited to the wedding. But these cusp people could conceivably (and correctly, if we had more invites to give) think they might be invited to the wedding.
The people he excluded entirely are easy enough–I’ve asked him to circle back and invite them. But I’m looking for advice on several fronts, here, bees.
1) Do I say anything to this well-meaning friend? He is so kind to be hosting the party, but I really feel like he’s been quite inconsiderate and put my fiance in me in a very awkward position.
2) What on earth do I say to the cuspers who are bound to ask me questions? Is there any way to let them know that they’re not invited to the wedding?
3) As of right now, about half the people on the final guest list are not invited to the wedding. Any advice on how to navigate conversations at the party in general, given the awkwardness there?
Thanks for any and all thoughts on this situation!