(Closed) Awkward family situations

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

By step daughter do you mean your own? As in your fiance’s daughter, or your Future Mother-In-Law daughter?  i don’t think a Bride should ever be pressured into having anyone she doesn’t want in the wedding. If she is your future step- daughter it is a nice gesture but if your really against it and your fiance doesn’t care then don’t give in.  As for your Future Sister-In-Law, if your Fiance wants his sister there then she should be there regardless of your feelings towards her, thats his family. It makes it hard that no one wants to talk to her if this is a real concern for you.. best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah thats a bad situation. I honestly don’t know what I’d do in that sitatuation. Being such a special day I couldn’t imagine having someone there that openly hated me. Being his family makes it tricky though, its too bad his family won’t stick up for you. If your Fiance got on board with not inviting her would that really upset rest the family?

Post # 7
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@sophiesparkle:   I understand where you are coming from and I agree with misrusticj it would be a nice gesture to have the little girl in your wedding, but not necessary if you really don’t want it.

The Future Sister-In-Law is a little trickier. I would say that since Fiance wants her there, she should be invited. That being said. I would assign “baby sitters” to make sure her behavior is not getting out of line and rude. I have this same understanding with some friends of mine about certain guests, whom will be escorted out if they can’t control themselves. I would also make sure that this policy is known to Fiance (and he’s on board with it). I’d also possibly tell her parents, but make it a general policy and not tell them it was specifically created as a way to keep her in check.

I’ve also seen other Bee’s suggest showing bartenders pics of certain people and having them 1/2 the alcohol in their drinks.

I’m sure it will all be fine, but having at least some token measures in place might ease your mind a bit.

Post # 9
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Fiance has a sister that hates him … And then me by association… His other 2 sisters are BM’s but she won’t even speak to us… It pretty much breaks my heart, but Fiance is in no hurry to resolve the problem (she was pretty evil to him – long story)… But the whole family is coming to the wedding so I knew we had to invite her or she would throw a fit (also happens to be 3 days b4 her birthday so we thought she might come to be with family near her bday since she is military and lives so far away)…. But apparently she ‘felt violated’ when she got her invitation since she did not want us to know her address! LMAO! Geeze woman! It’s not like we are going to make the 2k mile trip to see her! Haha! You will NEVER be able to please people like that – shouldn’t stress over it! GL

Post # 9
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sophiesparkle:  Wait a minute, this is your fiance’s daughter……you do not want to come off as the evil stepmother by banning her from the wedding

Even if you aren’t crazy about the flower girl idea, this is a great bonding opportunity for you–I would let it go if I were you and make the best of it

 

As far as your Future Sister-In-Law, she hates you and has made that very clear–I would reach out to her and tell her your concerns, if she still can’t manage to be civil then I would put my foot down and say that she  isn’t welcome. But if she can behave for the day, I’m sure you’ll be too busy with the people you care about to even notice her presence anyway

Post # 10
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s a tough one with Future Sister-In-Law.  There probably isn’t much you can do with that, but just keep talking to Fiance.  Maybe he can tell her that she needs to be on her best behavior or she will be asked to leave. 

As far as the future step-daughter goes, I understand not wanting a flower girl and not having kids at the wedding.  That’s really up to you and if you don’t want a Flower Girl, just be firm about it.  But I am curious as to why you wouldn’t want your FI’s daughter to be in attendance?  Even if you don’t want her in the wedding, shouldn’t she be there to share the day with you and your FI?

Post # 12
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sylvia.riggle:  Agree, how old is this girl is she at the age that she will remember this for the rest of your life.

Post # 14
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t see this situation as “that bad” to be honest.

1. Your Future Mother-In-Law doesnt have to give you money for anything in your wedding.. You really shouldn’t be bitter that she isnt paying for anything as it is yours and your FI’s obligation..not anyone else’s

2. I don’t see why you can’t just allow your Future Mother-In-Law this. It is not like you will be out any time/money/heart ache. It is best to choose your battles. And seeing that this is your FI’s daughter…..that kind of seals the deal.

3.Your Fiance sounds like he already put his food down on his sister. There is really not much else to say. Maybe hire security just in case?

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