(Closed) Awkward financial situation

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
9613 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think that since they’re his parents there’s not much you can or should do.  Let him handle it the way he feels best.

Post # 4
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Do nothing and say nothing at all. Nothing. Plan as though you will not receive anymore money from them. If you do receive the rest, then it’s gravy.  

Post # 5
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center

I had a similar issue with my MIL. She offered to give us money to put toward our wedding, but months passed without a word and I had to awkwardly try to budget things without knowing if we would get anything or not. I was completely fine if we didn’t, it’s just hard to plan/budget without knowing!

I don’t have much advice for you… DH just kept casually and politely bringing it up until she had figured out what she could financially offer. I think it might be awkward for you to ask them (unless you’re suuuuuper close with them), so I’d just keep reminding your hubby to be the one to bring it up.

Post # 6
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center

Wait, has the wedding already happened? If not, your man can reason that you guys need to know for budgeting. But if it has, I don’t know… that might be kinda iffy to request more money for an event that’s already passed?

Post # 7
Member
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@hisprettygirl:  eek. id find it hard to ask too, and it would be better if he could bring it up…or it would be a bit awkward. If your fi doesnt talk to them, id proceed as if you didnt have the money and fit your wedding to that budget…and maybe have a list of “extras” that you would get if they did give the money after all!

financial questions are *so* awkward. my parents said many times they wanted to give me money for the wedding and to let me know when i wanted it, but even then, when i was writing up my budget i still felt really embarrassed to ask “how much are you offering”

EDIT – oh i didnt realise wedding had already happened. if was in the future then fair enough, but seems a bit odd to ask for money post-event

Post # 8
Member
5080 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

After the wedding?  I wouldn’t say a thing.

Post # 9
Member
12629 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unfortunately, I think it’s time to let it go.  They probably either weren’t going to, or they forgot, but either way, bringing it up is rude, too.  🙁

Post # 10
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with the others – you will probably have to let that one go.

Post # 11
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t have brought it up again before the wedding, but I certainly wouldn’t mention it now that the wedding is over.

Post # 12
Member
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would plan as if you have no more money coming from anyone.

Post # 13
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with PPs that say that now that the wedding is over, the ship has sailed. If they give you a big check again later, you can choose to accept it graciously, but having FI bring it up would be a no-go for me. I’d just take the cost and roll with it. 

ETA- Did they make this promise to both of you or to your SO? And was it a promised amount or just ‘”help”? How’d the check get delivered? Finances are sensitive, obviously, and maybe your FI isn’t bringing it up with them because he knows something got mixed up in the communications and doesn’t want to ask them for more when this is all they planned to / wan to / can give you guys. No matter what, I still think that it’s just a loss now, but maybe talking with FI to clear it up between you two will help you guys just settle it. I wouldn’t bring it up to the ILs, however. 

Post # 14
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

While his parents did offer to give you x amount and since thus far have only given you 1/3, I think you should just take it and leave it. Money is a sticky situation, esp considering they’re not your parents. Don’t want something messing up your relationship with thim or how they view you. You should just rebudget your wedding and do what you and your fiance can afford. If somewhere down the line they give you more or the rest 2/3, that could just be bonus money. 

My fiance and I are planning our wedding as if no one is paying for it, so any money we do get it a happy surprise. 

Post # 16
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I just read your post about losing your job (sorry – that sucks!).  However, I agree with PP that since the wedding has come and gone, you should not ask for the money.  Sorry.  Yes, it sucks that they upped the price of your wedding by inviting extra guests, but at this point, the boat has sailed.

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