(Closed) Awkward financial situation

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 18
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

In this case, the money should have been given upfront. The ship has sailed here to ask about it. Don’t bring it up.

Post # 19
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I disagree the ship has sailed.  It’s family – your parents.  You can (or rather he can) ask and say, “hey, we really appreciate the gift of X towards the Y that you had promised towards the wedding.  We were wondering when to expect the rest?”  If they say that’s it, you can reply, “That’s really disappointing, we incurred X expenses from moving the venues and inviting additional guests at your request.”

Just try not to wait that long.

Now of course, after I say that, I should say that my parents only gave 5/6 of what they promised and I didn’t follow up with them.  In part that was because they started charging random things to the sum (e.g. my grandmother’s hotel room, the two dresses my mom bought for the wedding) that we had zero control over, so my Darling Husband was worried we’d end up oweing *them* by the end if we asked for anything more! 

Post # 20
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

@kay01:  Sounds greedy to me. I personally wouldn’t do that as a grown adult. That sounds like some thing my 13 daughter would do and that puts your parents in a spot especially if their financial position has changed and they are no longer able to offer Y.

OP, do what you want but I personally wouldn’t rock the boat asking for more money post wedding. The time to ask was before, asking after just puts his parents in a spot light if there is more going on to the situation than simply forgetting, which sounds like there is.

Post # 21
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

But also, I was raised never to ask for money unless you are borrowing it. So my opinion is based off of that. As an adult, I will do things for myself or figure out a way to get it myself. If I ask you for something, then I intend to make you whole again. If you offer something, then it is a gift and I don’t need to repay it back.
ETA but part of offer if the person completing the action of offering by giving. You can’t ask for a gift and since they already gave something, I would imagine that is all they are giving.

Post # 22
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@armychica06:  I totally agree. They aren’t your parents, they are HIS parents. I wouldn’t dare bring this up again. 

Post # 23
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@armychica06:  sure it’s greedy to ask in the first place, but how is it greedy to ask if it’s been offered, accepted, and relied upon when making changes!  Yes, it would be better to get money in hand before making changes but that’s also awkward denoting a lack of trust.  I find it hard to believe theirfinancial situation changed dramatically in a short time without the OP knowing about it, butsupposing it did, OPs I laws just need say that.

Post # 24
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Voting with PP who said to just let it go.

If more was coming, they would have told you as much.

Bringing it up will only make things awkward since they clearly aren’t giving it for whatever reason. And really, at this point, the reason is basically irrelevant.

It was a not so great thing for them to do, but be happy that you got something, because a lot of people get NOTHING 🙂 Sorry.

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