Post # 1
My DH’s stepsister is getting married this weekend, and we are attending. She had a bridal shower a few weeks ago that I was invited to but unable to attend, and I did not send a gift. DH gets along with her fine, but they are not close. Two weeks ago, I ordered her wedding gift from her registry and had it shipped directly to her. The billing info was in my name, but I included a gift note addressed to her and her Fiance, from me and DH. She then sent a thank you note to me only! So clearly she thinks the gift was her shower gift, not their wedding gift. It’s kind of a big assumption since the gift cost more than the check they wrote for our wedding gift!
We’re not sure how to handle this now. We could just give them a card for the wedding with nothing inside and they would probably figure it out. We could also afford to play dumb and write a check or give a gift for the wedding, though it would be a smaller amount, probably half of what the “shower” gift cost. Or, I could pick up a gift tomorrow and leave it at DH’s dad and stepmom’s house and say it is her shower gift that I forgot to give earlier.
All of these options seem kind of awkward, and I’m not thrilled about spending a lot more money to fix what was basically her mistake in assuming the intention of the wedding gift. Any other suggestions would be appreciated!
Post # 2
How close did you send the wedding gift to the time of the shower? I would say if it was very close to the shower (within a few weeks) I could understand the confusion on what the gift is for. I think I would do the “forgot to send the shower gift” or just the card and call it a day.
Post # 3
I’ve never heard of someone sending a shower gift when they couldn’t attend the shower… I dont have much bridal shower experience but if I couldnt make someones shower that would mean they dont get a shower gift from me…
I wouldn’t be too quick to assume that she considers this a bridal shower gift and not your wedding gift. Just dont get her anything else… she’ll realize that was her wedding gift….
I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say there’s no way someone would just assume they should get TWO expensive gifts for their wedding… you get ONE!!
Post # 4
The shower was on July 11, the gift was delivered July 17, wedding is on August 1. So it did arrive closer to the shower then the wedding, but definitely after the shower. The whole thing was a pretty close timeline though.
Post # 5
I would just give a card.
Post # 6
If she were my own relative, I wouldn’t have necessarily assumed that she assumed it was a shower gift. But the fact that she’s not even my relative – I have met her maybe 3-4 times – and that she addressed the thank you to me only and not my DH makes me think she thinks it’s a shower gift. The whole thing is kind of weird!
Post # 7
I understand her confusion with it being only days after her shower and still a couple weeks before her wedding. I got a lot of gifts sent to me from people who couldn’t attend the shower. Either way, her confusion doesn’t require you to give her another gift. I’d just write her a nice wedding card and mention the gift you gave her, like “I hope you love the ____!” or “I hope you’ll get a lot of use out of ___!”. She’ll realize it was meant as a wedding gift.
Post # 8
I would say just give them a card then.
Post # 9
I would give them a card and let them put two and two together.
Post # 10
I would do this OP – that way she doesn’t think you didn’t get them a wedding gift and you don’t have to worry.
Post # 12
Nothing further is needed here. Just give them a card.
Post # 13
I’d do the drop off shower gift and say you forgot. I assumed for gifts that were close to shower that they were shower gifts and when my aunt put just her name on it, I assumed it was shower. So maybe she just didn’t get a card with the gift? I know that happens sometimes and I had to go off of what was on the packing slip.
Post # 14
I would just bring a card to the wedding. If you wanted to, you could also put something in the card like :
Congrats on your special day! DH and I wish you nothing but a lifetime of happiness together. We hope that the Le Creuset pot we sent you will be useful as you start your new life together. Love you guys!
Post # 15
I would give a card with my best wishes. I would include a separate note( so it is not permanently in the card if she is the type to keep her wedding cards) saying that I was amazed to get her thank you not so promptly given the demand on brides planning weddings. I would say I was happy the wedding gift arrived safely and hope they enjoy using it.