Post # 1
One of my friends told us at the wedding (unprompted) that she bought us the fondue pot we had registered for, which is awesome. She said that she didn’t bring it to the wedding because the box it arrived in was so banged up she wanted to fix it/re-order it, something. I have to say it was hard to pay attention to- she was telling me all this when we were trying to do rounds!
Anyway, it’s been over a month since the wedding. I haven’t seen her yet, though I might this weekend and I might on Halloween. I’ve talked to her online since the wedding and she made no mention of the fondue pot. I doubt she will remember it this weekend/Halloween.
The fondue pot was one of my most anticipated items and 3 events have already passed where I would have used it. I really want to just buy the damn thing already but I don’t want to end up with two and I doubt she would give me the amazon returns information if she does ever give it to us.
Post # 3
I would buy it for yourself. Then, if it shows up, you can thank her and take it to wherever you bought yours to return.
Post # 5
I agree with buying it yourself if you really want it, but if it was one of my close friends, I wouldn’t have any problem saying something like, “Oh my gosh, Amazon must be giving you a big hassle exchanging that broken fondue pot! I’m so sorry you’ve had to mess with it.” And leave it at that. If it has just slipped her mind, then it will remind her to send it, and if she isn’t giving it to you, she has an out to blame it on Amazon.
Now, it’s all about the intent you say it with and the kind of relationship you have with the person. You can’t be passive aggressive or frustrated, you have to genuinely believe that it probably is a store error. And you have to know your friend – I know mine would receive that just fine.
But yeah, if you think at all that would be awkward, just buy it yourself and write it off.
Also, 3 instances for fondue in a month – go you!
Post # 4
Since she proactively discussed this with you at your wedding, I think it is perfectly acceptable for you to politely inquire about it.
You could say something along the lines of, “You know, I remember that, on my wedding day, you were so kind and thoughtful to have taken time to tell me something about an issue with the fondue pot that you so generously ordered for us and that there was a problem with the packaging and that you needed to re-order it or something. However, in all honesty, because of all of the confusion that day, I’m not sure I am remembering this corrrectly. I’m so sorry to bother you, but, could you please remind me of what you said? Thanks so much! :)”
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
Buy it for yourself IF she ever comes through with it, just return it.
Post # 7
Are you absolutely positive that she got it for you? I had a friend tell a similar story to me regarding a birthday gift….a year later no gift. I would buy it yourself if it is really something you want and save the receipt so that if she happens to finally give you the one she purchased you can return it for a full refund.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Buy one for yourself but I don’t see anything wrong with asking her if she mailed her gift because it may have gotten lost in the mail. Unlikely, but possible.
Post # 9
@Brielle: I really strongly disagree with this. I think it would be rude to ask her about it. Just go out and buy it if you want it.
Post # 10
I say buy it. Two fondue pots are better than one! Chocolate AND cheese!
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Buy it for yourself and keep your receipt. If she does end up giving it to you, you can return her’s (assuming it’s unopened) with your receipt.
Post # 12
@mamadingdong: +1 ! or save the one she gives you, if she ever does, for a regift?
Post # 13
@mamadingdong: Best idea yet! And it goes so well with your screen name. Two fondue pots actually could be totally useful.
Post # 14
@Beckster329: And, you may indeed be correct about this.
I often comment on the etiquette board, and, there, I generally am citing an established rule of etiquette and often will even preface my comment with an explanation that I am doing so.
However, in this particular instance, I actually did not — and do not — know if it is considered to be permissable for an intended recipient of a gift to follow up on a conversation that was initiated by a self-proclaimed gift giver, if the gift has yet to be received. I agree that in any case, the intended recipient could not ever properly ask, “Where is my gift?” However, I was using my own logic to theorize that it may be acceptable to ask the person who initiated the discussion to kindly repeat what was said during a quick conversation on such a busy day.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
@mamadingdong: +1000. You could also do two kinds of chocolate, two kinds of cheese, two kinds of broth, or do two at two ends of a longer table so everyone can reach.
Post # 16
I would never want two. It’s a rather large fondue pot and we already have a chocolate fountain for chocolate fondue.
I think I will wait until after Halloween to be sure she has forgotten. Then I’ll buy the one I want from amazon. I’ll keep the packaging for the next year in case she gives it to us later. She just moved and got rid of her car, so I don’t think I’ll see her the rest of the year after Halloween anyway.