(Closed) Awkward. He thinks I’ve only had one partner

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@CurlyWurly: Nope, don’t tell him. Doesn’t help anybody. If it ever comes up again, don’t lie about it, but don’t intentionally tell him.

Post # 4
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Wow…I would want to tell him although it shouldnt matter since he has had multiple patterns…it’s just weird to let him think that. I would just say you know it isn’t a big deal but you were thrown off guard when he said that and wanted him to know its not true. I know you didnt lie but you kind of let him believe it.

Post # 5
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It will continue to be in your head. So just bring it up like the PP said and correct him in a casual manner. I wouldn’t want him to find this out accidentally from someone else. Then he’d feel like a fool that other people know more about his wife than he does. It is really no big deal but it very well might become one.

Post # 6
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

you should def tell him.  Sorry, but this is no way to start a marriage, you say its a non issue, but if it was a non issue you wouldn’t have posted about it. 

He should know you arn’t his one and only, and it shouldn’t matter but its good to get it out there.

Post # 7
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would definitely tell him and set the record straight. As it stands, that one piece of incorrect information is impacting his overall view of you, however minutely, and should be corrected.

Post # 8
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hi,

I would tell him bring, but don’t make it a big deal do it while you are coooking or in the middle of a task not a let’s sit down and talk thing.

That will make it seem less like a big deal. Then start with soemthing you were talking about the other day then drift off into that topic. “Remember the other day when you said…” and ask him what made him think you only had 1 point out that you never told him that so he’s in the “ass” assume chair instead of it making you look like a liar. Then clear the air and you should be all set. Mention you wanted it to be clear before the marriage so that there’s no secrets. He should respect it and be back normal after a few days lol.

Post # 9
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

I can understand how awkward that would have been and how you’d not say anything.  I’m on the fence, here.  On one hand, bringing it up just to bring it up is going to be….you guessed it….awkward, lol!  But keeping it out there as misinformation could be awkward for HIM after he realizes that this isn’t the case and you never corrected him.

I guess I’d try to make a joke about the wedding night, his ‘studness’, or something to bring the same reaction up and then i would correct him.  Or you could just be super awkward and say ‘oh, hey, remember how you said how cute it was that I was only with one person?  I thought you were kidding so let it go but then I started thinking that you might actually think that’s true and it isn’t.  Just wanted to get that out there so that you didn’t believe the wrong thing’

Does that work?

Post # 10
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I am going against the grain and saying you should just leave it alone – unless of course he brings it up again – leave the past in the past – there is no need to bring that up.

-Its not like you told him it was one – he just assumed correct?

Post # 11
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@totheislnds:

letting people believe something that is not true is lying.  No matter how you wanna call it.  Lying isn’t only what you say, it is also what you don’t say.

Post # 12
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You know yourself, and him best -if you feel like it needs to be said, then please do bring it up again. If you don’t think it would matter to him regardless, then leave it alone.

Fiance asked mine in conversation when we were in our first few months together as he had some jealous moments early in our relationship and I told him no problem. Definitely not something I’m proud of, but not something I’m going to lie about or hide. I honestly have no idea what his number is, have never asked him, and don’t care (but do think I’m pretty sure my number is higher than his and perhaps why some insecurities are there). I could guess a few  of his by past relationship stories and whatnot, but it’s just not something that matters. I know I want to feel like the only one and do now that we’re together. The number(s) don’t matter to me, but I know had I said what you did with your Fiance, I would want to clear it up as “one partner” and my number are two very different numbers and that would be a big deal to him to find out later on. Flip it around and if I said the one partner thing to him (lol, I wouldn’t) I wouldn’t care if he later told me otherwise.

Interesting he assumed the one though, do you know why he would have assumed that?

Post # 13
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

That is awkward, so sorry you have to deal with that!

Where did he get the idea you’ve only had one partner?

Post # 14
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Atalanta: We see this differently, and thats ok.

Post # 15
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Big Lie theory works here;)   next time it comes up  ‘ The freightrain xperience you had during your initiation as a biker momma was enough for you.”

Post # 16
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I didn’t read any other replies, but I don’t know….I don’t think I’ve kept anything from my husband.

ETA: I’ve had many partners. Way more than my husband.

The topic ‘Awkward. He thinks I’ve only had one partner’ is closed to new replies.

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