(Closed) Awkward — How to ask?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would say, “FMIL – it is so generous that you will be assisting us in our wedding finances! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate as to how much you’ll be contributing? It would help us keep to a steady budget to know how much we are working with.” Then when she says “oh we’re giving 10,000” or “We think around 2,000-4,000” (or whatever) you can thnak her profuseley!

Post # 4
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My vote is that you shouldn’t ask. I would just wait to see what they put in the account and then thank them for it. If you ask, it may sound a bit greedy.

Post # 5
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would plan as if they aren’t contributing any money. When they do it will be that much more you can save for a house and other personal things. But, you could consult with Future Mother-In-Law about the vendors (always a good thing anyway) so if she wants to use the money to help you upgrade it’s easy for her to offer. For example if you decide you want X caterer and Future Mother-In-Law is less than excited about your plain chicken dinner, she could easily offer to help you serve lobster instead. It just seems a bit tacky to me to ask for money.

Post # 6
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I sort of wonder why they are opening a special account for this.  Why can’t they just write you a check?

Post # 7
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I had no idea that banks would let you open accounts for people if they weren’t present!  I would just wait and see what the contribution is – your Fiance should be able to see what the amount is if the account is in his name.

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