(Closed) Awkward Invitation Situation… To Invite or Not?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I just wouldn’t send an invitation to either of them. It’s a different situation to most cases where someone might send a save the date then not an invite. You don’t owe these people anything. I would just not send them an invite and put them behind you and move on with your life. You don’t even need to think about them again.

Post # 3
Member
6290 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
hawkeyebride:  I wouldn’t invite them. There were several people we sent save the dates to but not invites due to a massive falling out with FMIL; including I herself. There are some situations where I think it is fine to ignore etiquette, and this is one of them. The only way I would invite them would be if not doing so might cause further issues at work. 

Post # 5
Member
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

They knew their role in all that mess and shouldn’t expect to be invited anyway. Why invite, and pay, for someone who betrayed you? Weddings are to celebrate the couple, it doesn’t sound like they will want to do so.

Post # 7
Member
11349 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I wouldn’t invite them.  This is your day & you deserve to be surrounded by people who love & care for you.

Post # 8
Member
6290 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
hawkeyebride:  if you don’t like her and don’t want her there, don’t invite there. Seriously, stuff etiquette; she wasn’t there for you and really hurt you, so why invite her? You won’t lose anything as by the sounds of it you don’t want to keep her as a friend. 

Honestly, I would only invite either if I didn’t want to lose the friendship (sounds like that won’t apply as you already have) or if it could cause issues as work (eg more back-stabbing/stirring that might affect my job). Otherwise, eh, who cares? 

Post # 9
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m sorry to hear about what you went through, it sounds very stressful and difficult. I agree with everyone else, I would 100000% not send them an invite, even the girl who didn’t have anything to do with your situation, no matter what “etiquette” dictates. I would never invite anyone who hurt me that badly to such a happy and important event.

Post # 10
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Do not send an invite. This is your day and you should not have to pay for people who have betrayed you and run the risk of ruining your day. Don’t even think twice.

Post # 11
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

It sounds like girl #2 has picked her side already…and especially since you don’t seem to have asked anyone to pick sides, I don’t think you owe either of them anything! I’m also pretty sure Emily Post would frown upon making up stories in the workplace to screw over your coworkers so she’d likely be on your side about this too 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
hawkeyebride:  Don’t send an invitation to either of them. Invitations can be revoked in extenuating circumstances, and this is definitely one of them.

Post # 13
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Oh hell no. To either of them. 

Post # 14
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am so sorry, agree no need to invite.  I woud add, that I thnk Save-The-Date Cards are WAY overdone.   

Post # 15
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

Nope, no need to invite. Circumstances changed on their end. They essentially uninvited themselves – and I hope they feel ashamed to have gotten a save the date from you in the first place, because they certainly didn’t deserve it. 

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