Post # 1
This may have already been asked, but how do you all handle these awkward family situations (which I’m sure will come up over the Holiday season):
*Constant asking (from his family) When are you two getting married??
I get questioned by siblings and parents of HIS wondering when we are getting married… I just want to reply, “Why don’t you ask HIM?” 🙂 but I know that’s awkward. I’ve run out of witty comments to make to try to ease the awkwardness, but I always wonder why am I the one that gets questioned and he somehow avoids it? (ie. he’s not there at the time I get asked or I just don’t realize he gets questioned in my absence possibly…?) It’s as if it only bothers me I guess…
*Other siblings or family members of your SO getting engaged after much shorter relationships than you and your SO.
It’s hard not to compare, but it’s a hard thing to swallow when others take the next step and become “part of the family” when you’ve been there for over 3 years. I’m currently preparing myself for that to happen this Christmas from what I’ve overheard from HIS family…
*You are part of a conversation where friends of HIS family are talking about how great of a catch you are and that he needs to snatch me up “real quick!”
It’s another reminder that he hasn’t yet, and that if everyone else thinks that, why hasn’t he?
I sometimes think “Am I invisible? :)”
Post # 3
I can anticipate some of these happening to me, too 🙂
I’m going to Thanksgiving at his house which is the holiday they host at their family home and his entire extended family comes. I haven’t seen most of them since last Thanksgiving.
The last time we ran into one of his extended family, they assumed we were already married, not sure if that’s good or bad… We don’t even live together yet.
I hope you get some good advice for happy, witty, comebacks to the inevitable questions!
Post # 4
I would tell them to ask him. It’s not awkward it’s honest. You are waiting and it’s his decision.
Post # 5
I would just say that you don’t have any plans to get married yet.
Post # 6
Whenever I got asked that (and it was often) I would say “ASK HIM!” loud enough so Fiance could hear. LOL.
Post # 7
Before we were engaged my one cousin in particular literally asked us that EVERY time he saw us. It did start to get annoying but I just always laughed and said “someday” because it really wasn’t any of his business and became so frustrating. But if it was my FIs family I would definintely have just said ask him haha
Post # 8
my reply was patience is a virtue and I have become a master!
Post # 9
It’s really not awkward to point them his direction.
Post # 10
My plan is to tell them they’ll know when we’re getting married when we’re engaged, and to give them my most steely, intimidating death look daring them to ask more questions.
Post # 11
Yeah, I always tell people who ask to ask him. Though, only MY family asks me, and Boyfriend or Best Friend conveniently never comes to see my family. The few relatives of his that used to poke and prod (but not outright ask) have given up.
Post # 12
After waiting for six years I pretty much heard it all. In the end my grandparents resorted to “I sure hope you get married before I/we die.” Oy Vey!!!
Our response as a whole was we will get married when we are ready/when it is the right time. While they have the right to be nosey they don’t necessarily deserve a more detailed response. In the beginning we tried to be accomodating but towards the end we were definitely more of a united front against a barage of comments.
Post # 13
Last time we were with my family, all three of my brothers cornered him to ask him when he was going to propose! I was not happy with my brothers then, because it isn’t up to them and them pressuring him most likely made him want to wait even longer.
I should also add, that if people ask me, I just tell them to ask him. So I shouldn’t be mad with them asking him, but the way they did it wasn’t good.
Post # 14
This Thanksgiving, I’m going to tell everyone “You’re guess is as good as mine!”, and point them in his direction, lol!
Post # 15
We’ve been together 7 years now, and this is our first Thanksgiving we’re engaged. And its going to be weird because last thanksgiving they were talking about planning our wedding and how they were going to help (news flash, we’re done) and they used to harrass us. I would always just say “ask c” and they would and he’d ignore them.
Post # 16
His family started asking when we were going to get married the first time they met me (no joke!). It was awkard at first we’d only been dating a couple of months. As we dated longer and they asked, I would either tell them that we plan on it when the time is right, or else to ask him. If it’s something you’ve talked about with him and you know he’s going to propose soon I don’t think it’s wrong for you to tell them to ask him.