(Closed) Awkward registry issue….help!

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What would you do?
    Spend your normal amount of $100 regardless of how it might make them feel : (16 votes)
    35 %
    Spend $50 : (22 votes)
    48 %
    Spend $40 : (5 votes)
    11 %
    Spend $20 : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would normally say spend $100 but to not offend them or make them feel that they need to spend that much on their wedding, you can lower your amount. Maybe get two gifts off the registry since everything is so low priced.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1815 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I would say spend your normal amount, until I saw that they registered for mostly under $20 things – you don’t want to buy out their whole registry, so I would say get a few gifts (like part of a set – towels, dishes, etc) that add up to $50, or do a $100 gift card so that they can buy up the loose ends of their registry after the wedding.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    You said almost, so is there at least 1 gift closer to the range you are wanting to pay?  Just buy that gift.

    Not everyone feels the need to reciprocate dollar for dollar.  I surely don’t.  If they do that’s their lifestyle choice and that is their own thing to figure out. 

    Give a gift you feel comfortable with and would like your friend to have. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2281 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I voted spend $40.

    Darling Husband and I had a registry with a range of things, but almost all were small or were things that could be packaged together to fit any budget (6 $5 napkins, so someone could get all or some). 

    Some friends getting married around the same time as us very generously bought ALL the wine glasses, totalling over $120. 

    So, Darling Husband and I were basically helpless to do anything but spend a reciprocal amount on their gift, which we could NOT afford to do. We had a small, cocktail party wedding, theirs was an extravagent affair (that we couldn’t even afford to attend because it was far away), but we felt we had to shell out way more than we would have ordinarily. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    My usual strategy is “When in doubt, cover your plate”. If I had a friend who had indicated she was serving filet mignon, and I was serving cake and punch, I’d definitely feel pressured to buy a huge gift if she brought something worth $100 to my tiny shindig.

    But if I were also having filet at my wedding as well, and having a tiny wedding to be able to afford that level of extravagence for my nearest and dearest, I’d feel a little slighted if a couple brought a $20 gift. I know I shouldn’t, and I’d really try not to…but it would doubtless creep in.
     

    Post # 8
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I went through the same thing and didn’t want them to know what i paid so i bought something off their registry and then something that wasn’t on there. I spent $100 and got $50 back but it didn’t bother Darling Husband and i at all and i know they weren’t aware or embarassed

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