- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
My fiance, Brendan and I have been together 4 years. He has a large family compared to me, my family actually lives across the country. I have my mom around and thats it.
One of his sisters is engaged, since around March last year, at that point they were planning to have a spring wedding this year. I was asked to be a bridesmaid (I think out of awkwardness) I’ve always kind of been quiet so I just would sit around and listen to her ideas, well THAT went quiet for a while, but then she just stopped talking about planning, since they were moving with the rest of brendan’s family just outside town.
She had posted on FB, ” sorry everyone, wedding postponed another year” THIS was june 8! (a bit past springtime! lol) She obviously hadn’t sent out invitations or anything!! So I or anyone don’t know where this wedding was supposed to fit in because it all doesn’t make much sense!
It has been so off and on, Brendan and I don’t pay attention anymore! His sis and her fiance have 2 babies, they’ve just moved, and they’re trying to open a store with they’re mother, (Brendan and I aren’t involved in that)
So it’s been quiet a while, Brendan proposes!! Yay! He asks me June 22.
Well everyone wants to know right away, what are you thinking for a date!?!?
We like fall next year perhaps! Well, now that I’ve started planning, SHE’S started planning! AGAIN! 2 weeks after being late on postponing her own last attempt at a wedding! I’m really trying not to be sour grapes about it, but she’s just set her date about a week ago, (a week after we decided on ours,) 2 months BEFORE ours! I understand she was engaged first, but she put hers off. We started planning first, we set our date first. And I dunno, I guess I would’ve liked to talked about it with her but it seems we don’t matter to her and she was just full steam ahead. Brendan finds the whole situation awkward and has said she’s always been the princess and there no talking to her unless you want to start a war.
And heres the kicker: I work with Brendan and her.
We carpool, I see her everyday all day, and with family get togethers I get no breaks from her at all sometimes.
I guess the main things that bother me are,
At work everyday, she wants to talk about HER wedding, and what SHE’S doing, and how wonderful it will be, and does she ever ask her brother and I about ours? nope. And it seems anytime we bring up an idea of ours in front of her, she decides shes going to do it too!
her entire family tells me, don’t worry, go ahead, she’s not getting married, its the same thing again! It won’t happen! Its like a running joke. But why all this turmoil for an imaginary wedding?!?! (and her constantly saying she hates her fiance sometimes, he’s an !&[email protected](*&, he’s an alchoholic, he’s this he’s that. She always complains about him! She doens’t have much planned, as far as I’ve heard she’s trying to have 200 guests in her backyard, byob, and trying to get cheap and free stuff to pull it off. It sounds unrealistic to me…
Sometimes I swear it seems she’s trying to make this some sort of pre-meditated competition thats shes setting herself up to win, I know it sounds crazy but she has that type of personality and I can’t help but find it abrasive!
I was debating postponing our wedding a year, take away her competition and she can have it but if she doesn’t have the decency to talk to me about it, then I don’t know. I imagine we might both feel the same way, but instead of talking through it, it’s just been her nose in the air, and my spirits depreciated.:(
I’m so sad, since I met brendan right when I moved to this city, I haven’t made many girlfriends, and I have no family out here exept my mom. Trying to plan a wedding feeling angry and sad and lonely. While she has her sister, aunts, grandmas all there at her side. Going on outings looking for a wedding dress….HUGE smile on her face. And here I sit all my ducks in a row, knowing who I’m hiring and how much they’ll cost but questioning if I should go ahead with all this turmoil in my head.
I don’t know If I’m in the wrong here, but you have to understand, there’s so much more between her and us in the past that push me to feel this way too, But I’ve already written you a freaking book right!?! lol!
What are your thoughts??