Post # 1
Okay so I have this acquaintance that I really don’t like. We have mutual friends, and that’s it. She’s 28 and acts about 15. She’s very dramatic and have started several rumors about my Fiance and I. But, for the sake of maturity and the fact that I have 2594090 other things to deal with, I’ve let them all slide. When I announced my Bridesmaid or Best Man decisions she was hurt that she was not chosen. And now she has single-handedly taken over the bachelorette plans. (wtf?!) My other Bridesmaid or Best Man don’t know what to do. I told them that she could come to the Bachelorette party, but she has known for over a year that she isn’t invited to the wedding. I think it’s fun to watch her get trashed and make a complete fool out of herself. Anyways, to the point!
She isn’t invited to the wedding, I don’t like her all that much, and she’s started lots of drama between my future husband and I. Should I really let her plan my B-party? I know it’s not really up to me, because that’s something my other Bridesmaid or Best Man are handling… but it’s getting kind of ridiculous!
What do I do?
Post # 3
I think your Maid/Matron of Honor should step in and tell this girl to GTFO, to be honest. If she’s not invited to the wedding or in the wedding party, she has no business planning it. It’d be a different story if you were good friends, but sounds like you’re not close at all.
Post # 4
Well if she isn’t invited to the wedding AND you don’t like her AND you already have BM’s it’s totally inappropriate for her to be planning the bach party. It’s one thing if a non-BM but super close friend and wedding guest takes over planning for reasons like the BM’s are too busy, but that isn’t the case and she’s overstepping boundaries.
Post # 5
It IS up to you. It’s YOUR bachelorette party. Talk to your other bridesmaids and blacklist her.
Post # 6
I have to say, at risk of upsetting you, that your comment about liking to watch her make a fool of herself does not make you out to be very mature in the face of dealing with this person, so I fear you won’t do what is best to keep the peace but might be more interested in starting or at least allowing the drama to unfold.
If you want to avoid drama, though, my advice is tell her absolutely no and don’t let someone who is not a wedding guest come to your bachelorette party. In the end you will both end up with hurt feelings and maybe a ruined bachelorette party. The fact that she knows she is not invited but she is still pushing herself to the center of attention shows her inability to grasp the situation. Maybe you need to sit down and have a serious talk about why you don’t want her as a friend.
Post # 7
Tell her you decided that you wanted an intimate bachelorette with just your BM’s and leave it at that. You don’t like this person, you aren’t inviting her to the wedding – to invite her, just because you want to make fun of her is cruel. If she assumed she was going to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man she’s either delusional, or you’ve given her the impression she’s closer to you than she really is. Either way, it sounds like it’s time for some tough love and good communication.
Post # 8
Post # 9
Ya if she isn’t invited to the wedding because you don’t like her why would you want to include her in anything else. Tell her it’s just bridesmaids invited to bachelorette or some other excuse. It sounds like you don’t want much to do with her so i would make that clear to her also. Inviting her to bach and not wedding sends mixed signals that she is a friend.
Post # 10
I totally agree with Statutory Grape – your MOH/BM’s should have and should if they haven’t step in and remove her from the planning process. However, someone must have let her in on it for her to think she’s planning it…so perhaps there is a communication breakdown between the person who revealed the tentative plans to the girl you’re referring to and you about your wishes regarding her presence?