(Closed) Awkward Situation to say the least!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think your Maid/Matron of Honor should step in and tell this girl to GTFO, to be honest. If she’s not invited to the wedding or in the wedding party, she has no business planning it. It’d be a different story if you were good friends, but sounds like you’re not close at all.

Post # 4
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well if she isn’t invited to the wedding AND you don’t like her AND you already have BM’s it’s totally inappropriate for her to be planning the bach party. It’s one thing if a non-BM but super close friend and wedding guest takes over planning for reasons like the BM’s are too busy, but that isn’t the case and she’s overstepping boundaries.

Post # 5
218 posts
Helper bee

It IS up to you. It’s YOUR bachelorette party. Talk to your other bridesmaids and blacklist her.

Post # 6
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have to say, at risk of upsetting you, that your comment about liking to watch her make a fool of herself does not make you out to be very mature in the face of dealing with this person, so I fear you won’t do what is best to keep the peace but might be more interested in starting or at least allowing the drama to unfold.

If you want to avoid drama, though, my advice is tell her absolutely no and don’t let someone who is not a wedding guest come to your bachelorette party. In the end you will both end up with hurt feelings and maybe a ruined bachelorette party. The fact that she knows she is not invited but she is still pushing herself to the center of attention shows her inability to grasp the situation. Maybe you need to sit down and have a serious talk about why you don’t want her as a friend.

Post # 7
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Tell her you decided that you wanted an intimate bachelorette with just your BM’s and leave it at that.  You don’t like this person, you aren’t inviting her to the wedding – to invite her, just because you want to make fun of her is cruel.  If she assumed she was going to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man she’s either delusional, or you’ve given her the impression she’s closer to you than she really is.  Either way, it sounds like it’s time for some tough love and good communication.  

Post # 9
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ya if she isn’t invited to the wedding because you don’t like her why would you want to include her in anything else. Tell her it’s just bridesmaids invited to bachelorette or some other excuse. It sounds like you don’t want much to do with her so i would make that clear to her also. Inviting her to bach and not wedding sends mixed signals that she is a friend. 

Post # 10
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I totally agree with Statutory Grape – your MOH/BM’s should have and should if they haven’t step in and remove her from the planning process.  However, someone must have let her in on it for her to think she’s planning it…so perhaps there is a communication breakdown between the person who revealed the tentative plans to the girl you’re referring to and you about your wishes regarding her presence?

-Good Luck!

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