Awkward situation with friends – advice needed!

posted 2 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

bridetobeannie :  Unfortunately I think that this is a situation where you have to either pick a side or walk away from both so to speak. I don’t think you can be friends with both without causing a drama with either party. 

Personally I’d be pretty annoyed that someone used me as a beard for their tryst and I dislike dishonesty and wouldn’t want to be friends with a person who thinks its OK to cheat on their spouse and break up their family in such a destructive way. If you don’t feel like you are in a good relationship then walk away on decent honest terms not by forming a relationship with someone else. I know which side I’d be feeling bad for….


Post # 3
7275 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

bridetobeannie :  Here’s the thing- you don’t know for sure that Mark is telling you the truth. You don’t know if she is. Unless they are such good friends that you think you can have a clear, honest conversation with them, I’d walk away. It seems like at the very least, each is trying to get you guys on their side and that’s not a comfortable place to be. 

You can always hand deliver your invitation to one or both after the dust settles. I would just back off for now and if either reach out, just avoid them or say you’d like to not get involved/don’t want to hear about the details. 

Post # 4
296 posts
Helper bee

bridetobeannie :  When is the wedding? 

I would just hold on to their invite and see how it will progress. You don’t have to decide now. 

If you have other mutual friends that will receive an invitation and Mark & Kim will ask about their invitation (although I think they have bigger things to worry about now) – I’d be honest and say that you wanted to discuss it with them first, cause you’re not sure how to handle this situation and would it be too awkward for them to be at the wedding together. 

Post # 5
4994 posts
Honey bee

bridetobeannie : 

Whilst my tendency  is  to believe a woman over a man when they give different versions, really you can’t know the truth , at this  stage I doubt  they even do themselves.!

I think you are far too close to your own wedding to involve yourselves  and your phrase ” I really do not want to be involved in this situation any more that I am already” sensibly says it all.  

In your situation I would send both invitations as normal  and leave it to play out   . Maybe, a day or so before the wedding , alert a friend  or two if they both accept. ( I’m guessing she won’t and he will) Stay  quiet on the social media front as far as   they  are concerned  and respond to texts etc from either of them with the blandest  and briefest replies compatible   with good manners .  

And then try not to think about it any more . Too much  good and exciting personal  stuff of your own happening to be involved in what sounds like   a very umfortunate and messy situation . 

PS I didn’t  know you  could   date on Gumtree, I thought it was just to sell   and buy stuff! 

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