Post # 1
So, I had ordered customer necklaces for my bridesmaids from an acquaintance from college (someone who I only really communicate with on Facebook) who has an etsy shop.
She made really unique necklaces for them and she showed me pictures as she created them and I recieved them and I do love them, but just not for a wedding. They are a little bit too casual and won’t lay out very well with the different necklines of the bridesmaids dreses (they all have different dresses).
So being a panicked bride, I ordered a second set of necklaces that are more simple. Skeleton keys, very nice :).
However, I am feeling VERY guilty about not using the original necklaces for the wedding. She is SO excited about them. It’s not that I don’t like that, because I do love them, they are cute. But they just are a little too much.
So I guess I am looking for opinons. I plan on giving them both and suggesting they wear the keys. Should I feel this guilty, she isn’t a close friend. Just a passerby from college that happens to be a facebook friend and has an etsy store.
I was going to send her a message on Facebook explaining, but I might just wait and see if she says anything to me after the wedding, BUT THEEEEN what if she is looking forward to it? I’ll feel worse.
Ugh. I know this is all so silly, but I am too nice of a person some times. lol
Post # 3
I wouldn’t send tell her anything about it. It sounds like she wouldn’t be at the wedding, just give them both as gifts to your BMs.
Post # 4
You’re always so logical 😛 Thanks for being on the bee! Everytime you answer something I think of my original questions and go “why?” lol.
Post # 5
Aww thanks! I understand being too nice sometimes. I always feel like I have to justify my decisions but I’m realizing that you really don’t need to do that sometimes, and it just makes you feel like a doormat.
Post # 6
She isn’t invited to the wedding, but I just hate hurting people’s feelings. If she asks I will just tell her that they didn’t work out with all the necklines, but they all loved them and can’t wait to wear them. It’s not as if I am not giving them because I don’t like them. They are still getting them, just not wearing them to the wedding. Riiiight?
Post # 7
I agree with the other posters, just give them as bridesmaids gifts. I’m the same way as you too though, not wanting to hurt people’s feelings. You have only one wedding day so do it the way you want to. Dont let obligation or guilt make the decisons for you. I dont think you have to give an explanation either. If she asks, just be honest and say that they didn’t suit all the necklines of the BMs dresses. I’m sure she’ll understand. Good luck!
Or maybe have the BMs wear them to the rehearsal dinner and make sure to take pics of them wearing them and post on FB 🙂
Post # 8
I would say if she asks about it, tell her that you adore the necklaces but they didn’t look work with the dresses the way you thought they would. Also tell her that the girls loved them and can’t wait to wear them…or soemthing like that. That way, you take the blame on yourself for not picking right (even if that isn’t the case…just to save her feelings)
Post # 9
I think if you’re really concerned about hurting her feelings, you’re better off saying something to her ahead of time rather than waiting to see if she says anything to you after seeing your wedding pictures. I would just message her and tell her how happy you are with the necklaces, and that they’ll be a great gift for your bridesmaids. Then tell her unfortunately they didn’t work with the neckline of all the girls’ dresses and you didn’t realize that would be the case until you got the actual necklaces (this is a risk everyone takes when ordering things online because you can’t try them on until you get them). She probably won’t confront you about it afterwards asking why they didn’t wear her necklaces. She’ll probably just wonder what happened and assume you didn’t like them. I think being up front and honest is the best way to avoid hurting feelings.