(Closed) Awkward situation/Vent. What do I do?!

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@ellebeerob:  I don’t have any good advice because I am super nonconfrontational myself but seriously how freaking rude is she? You are very just in your reaction to her. She is just plan rude and nosey.

Post # 4
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If it were me, and I know it’s not, I would post a quick blurb about how “In light of recent events, I’ll be focusing on my own health and my marriage.  Since this is a personal health matter, I’d appreciate it if everyone would please not pry.  If and when there is new to share, please trust that I will do so in an appropriate manner.  Thank you for your patience and for respecting my/our wishes.”

You shouldn’t have to worry about people prying, and she sounds like maybe she is either inconsiderate, or trying really (too) hard to communicate with you while avoiding any baby subjects.  Hugs, hun!

Post # 6
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i dont have any advice, but i hate FB for this crap too…

and i hope youre ok!!! that sounds so scary 🙁

Post # 7
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

Um, I would be livid. Personally, I’m very open and honest about my life, so I would tell her how offensive that was and give a general reason because she clearly has no idea how insensitive she is being…

Post # 8
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ellebeerob:  You don’t sound like a brat at all – that’s so ridiculously rude. Seriously, beyond rude. Sorry you’re dealing with that and I hope you’re feeling better!

Post # 9
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ellebeerob:  this is possibly the least bratty vent i’ve read on the ‘bee!

I would expect her to ask “how are you” when she sees you, so I’d have a response planned, something like “actually, I’ve been struggling with a health problem, and your public question about a pregnancy has made it quite difficult to deal with, because everyone is now harrassing me about it. but i’m feeling a little better now, thank you”. Something that is straight and doesn’t give her anything to argue with. If you want to go back to being friendly, you could then smile and say “and how are you?”.

Post # 10
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ellebeerob:  People honesltly lose all sense of tact when it comes to thinking/talking/typing about pregnancy.  Honestly, that was BEYOND rude of her! Why do people do that sort of thing on a public forum like FB?!

I agree with @hamikay: that you should be poilite, but get your point across.  Let her know that she put you in the difficult position of having to deal with people pressing you about a personal issue WHILE actually dealing with a serious health issue. 

I am somewhat snarky and have a hard time holding my tounge, so I’d probably add in that “I assume that she was asking out of worry and a good place. But while it may have been good intentioned, Facebook is never the place to ask personal questions like that.”

Good luck- let us know how it goes!

Post # 11
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I don’t know how comfortable you are with this, but when you see her and she pulls the baby card, I would flat out tell her that you have fertility issues. 

“Actually, I’m not able to have children, so it’s kind of painful when people ask us that.” 

Even if you are able to have kids with all of these health issues, she doesn’t know this, and being blunt will put her in her place. 

Post # 12
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Did you delete her comment from FB?  That’s what I would have done.

Post # 13
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I disagree with telling her that you have fertility issues. That will just lead to more stupid comments like “Things happen for a reason” and “It will happen as soon as you relax”. You don’t need that on top of everything else that is going on in your life.

I would just respond to her text with something like “As you might have heard, I am struggling with serious health issues right now, so I won’t be able to help you with your craft projects.” And then just ignore her.

Post # 14
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Wow, that’s rude!  You are not being bratty at all.  I would either be polite but set clear boundaries, or maybe be a little passive-aggressive.  (Generally not my style, but she was so rude first.)  

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