(Closed) awkwardddd… boss thinks he's invited to my wedding!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had a similar situation — I work in a chummy smaller office (11 people), where there have been weddings and other personal events in which the whole office was invited in the past. So after I got engaged, they all assumed that they would be invited.  Initially I avoided the topic of my wedding all together at work, but one day I had to point-blank say that I was having an intimate wedding of only immediate family and close friends.

Do not give in to any pressure from anyone to invite your boss if you do not want them at your wedding.  Your wedding is an intimate affair and you should only be surrounded by people that make you and your Fiance happy. I am boggled by advice of “cave in and invite him if you can, just because it’s awkward.”  I imagine that only those specific co-workers made your guest list for a reason… and that reason was that you did not want to see your boss on the happiest day of your life.

The second point to not inviting your boss, is that you should not feel obligated to invite him for the sake of “keeping the peace” or “office politics” or whatever other rationalization there is along those lines.  There is your work life, and there is your personal life… and most bosses understand people’s desires to keep those separate.

He probably does want to be invited because he probably does genuinely like you, which is why he’s asking.  Do NOT invite him because he is trying to push his way in.

Post # 19
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would invite him.  Some of our biggest presents were from bosses. 

Post # 20
Member
3954 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would invite him, and the others if you can fit them…

Post # 21
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would invite them too. 

Post # 22
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

@Diamondgurl:  haha all I can think of is an extremely awkward Michael Scott moment of him thinking he’s invited and someone having to gently tell him that he is not . I love the office 🙂

Post # 23
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I was told that it is proper etiquette to invite your boss out of curtosy if you invite co-workers. However, on the same note, if your boss is invited out of curtosy, I believe they are suppose to decline for the same reason (I think I read this on the bee actually…). Not sure though, so don’t quote me. Maybe someone knows better than I do?

Post # 26
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yikes! How terribly awkward. Um, I would invite him…I’d rather he complain about not getting a plus 1 then diva-ing out about not being invited at all. I imagine the latter being a lot more- bitchy.

Post # 28
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I felt the pressure as well. I caved, invited, and he came, with a plus one. BUT she also brought a gift from just herself. So I thought that was nice… I didn’t even have a chance to see or talk to them all night.

Post # 29
Member
13575 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We invited our bosses and they came.  From out of town.  I’ve been to plenty of  weddings where bosses were in attendance.  It  depends on the  relationship, the size of  the affair etc.   I do think it is courteous to invite him if you invited other co-workers. 

Post # 30
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d have an invite in the mail asap lol

Post # 31
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee

A few people at my work assumed they were invited. I wanted to invite two co-workers I am closer with but I felt too guilty inviting them and no one else (small staff) so I didn’t invite anyone. Heard a few rude comments from certain people thinly veiled as jokes. One co-worker even “joked” she was going to crash my wedding. It was really rude and she kept joking about it even though I told her it bothered me. Some people…

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