Post # 17
I had a similar situation — I work in a chummy smaller office (11 people), where there have been weddings and other personal events in which the whole office was invited in the past. So after I got engaged, they all assumed that they would be invited. Initially I avoided the topic of my wedding all together at work, but one day I had to point-blank say that I was having an intimate wedding of only immediate family and close friends.
Do not give in to any pressure from anyone to invite your boss if you do not want them at your wedding. Your wedding is an intimate affair and you should only be surrounded by people that make you and your Fiance happy. I am boggled by advice of “cave in and invite him if you can, just because it’s awkward.” I imagine that only those specific co-workers made your guest list for a reason… and that reason was that you did not want to see your boss on the happiest day of your life.
The second point to not inviting your boss, is that you should not feel obligated to invite him for the sake of “keeping the peace” or “office politics” or whatever other rationalization there is along those lines. There is your work life, and there is your personal life… and most bosses understand people’s desires to keep those separate.
He probably does want to be invited because he probably does genuinely like you, which is why he’s asking. Do NOT invite him because he is trying to push his way in.
Post # 18
That’s what probably will happen.
Post # 19
I would invite him. Some of our biggest presents were from bosses.
Post # 20
I would invite him, and the others if you can fit them…
Post # 22
@Diamondgurl: haha all I can think of is an extremely awkward Michael Scott moment of him thinking he’s invited and someone having to gently tell him that he is not . I love the office 🙂
Post # 23
I was told that it is proper etiquette to invite your boss out of curtosy if you invite co-workers. However, on the same note, if your boss is invited out of curtosy, I believe they are suppose to decline for the same reason (I think I read this on the bee actually…). Not sure though, so don’t quote me. Maybe someone knows better than I do?
Post # 25
I would totally invite him if I knew he wouldn’t come, but… i think he just might come. He is unmarried (60yrs old) but is dating several young men (in their 20s). There is obviously alot of backstory I haven’t disclosed but he’s just completely a diva and I’m not sure if I want him to meet my family and close friends. If I invite just him he might complain why he didn’t get a +1. I don’t want some random 20 yr old he met on Craigslist at my wedding (true story!)
Post # 26
Yikes! How terribly awkward. Um, I would invite him…I’d rather he complain about not getting a plus 1 then diva-ing out about not being invited at all. I imagine the latter being a lot more- bitchy.
Post # 27
@Madelin: Yea I’ll take the week to think about it. Seems like a lose – lose situation for me
Post # 28
I felt the pressure as well. I caved, invited, and he came, with a plus one. BUT she also brought a gift from just herself. So I thought that was nice… I didn’t even have a chance to see or talk to them all night.
Post # 29
We invited our bosses and they came. From out of town. I’ve been to plenty of weddings where bosses were in attendance. It depends on the relationship, the size of the affair etc. I do think it is courteous to invite him if you invited other co-workers.
Post # 30
I’d have an invite in the mail asap lol
Post # 31
A few people at my work assumed they were invited. I wanted to invite two co-workers I am closer with but I felt too guilty inviting them and no one else (small staff) so I didn’t invite anyone. Heard a few rude comments from certain people thinly veiled as jokes. One co-worker even “joked” she was going to crash my wedding. It was really rude and she kept joking about it even though I told her it bothered me. Some people…