(Closed) Awkwardness… (Rant/Vent and LONG)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sorry you have to go through all of this. I hope it gets better.

 

Post # 4
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

What an awkward situation! It’s so hard to be the new addition to set family ways. You are clearly sensitive to all this, which will make you tactful, I think, if you guard against being overly sensitive. I can feel your frustration and would feel the same thing if I were in your place

Post # 5
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Perhaps you could start packing up some of her things so that they are ready when she is. Especially after the shower since your things will then be in the house. This is not an easy situation, however she probably does nto see any urgency in the situation since you are not living there now. If you moved in things might be different. Maybe just staying a few days a week and starting to help her pack things up will help.

Post # 7
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

It was her house for a long time. It’s where her children grew up, where she and her husband lived for a long time and now he’s gone. It could be difficult for her to go through everything, even if she’s very practical about such things. It could be affecting her more than she knows, OR she simply isn’t realizing how much it’s affecting you. She probably figures that you don’t mind the timeline she has now, whatever that may be.
I’d definitely ask your Fiance about what her plans are, and try to be as accommodating as possible. Don’t over think this. Just keep in mind that it will be your place for a looooooooong time.

But it seems like the bigger issue with you is that you don’t feel like you’re a fully fledged member of this family, and may even feel like you’re intruding?

Post # 9
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@CherryWaves: Makes sense. Do you think you’ll feel better about it once you’re able to knock out some walls? Is it actually possible for the house to be transformed into your dream home?
Perhaps inform your Future Mother-In-Law what your plans are to make the home yours, in detail, and see what the reaction is. If it’s not too good, you could reconsider the idea of building your own place on the property and renting out the house.

Post # 11
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@CherryWaves: Sounds like she really is cool with it which is awesome. I think you’re absolutely right, it’s all just a matter of her getting everything out now. She sounds like the kind of woman who, once your Fiance talks to her, will get it and kick it into high gear.

Post # 13
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sorry that you are expereincing pressure and awkwardness!

Is the house paid off? As much as your dream was to build and start a new, I feel like this may be a huge blessing in disguise! How man people have mother in laws wiling to give their family home up and pack their bags? She seems to have you best interest at heart. Im sure she has a lot of emotions as well in regards to the situation. 

Get married whenever you feel ready and the rest will fall into place!

Post # 14
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@CherryWaves: That’s what I’m here for! Don’t worry, it’s going to work out beautifully  Laughing

The topic ‘Awkwardness… (Rant/Vent and LONG)’ is closed to new replies.

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