- 10 years ago
My two bridesmaids and I all grew up in the same town and then, after high school, all relocated to different places in the Pacific Northwest. I am not as good friends with them as I used to be, and we don’t keep in touch as often as I would like. However, when I became engaged, these two girls (who are not friends with each other, just to be clear), they were the only ones I thought to ask to stand up with me.
Because they are both students with limited budgets, and because they live several hours away from me, I didn’t expect much from them in terms of help with the wedding. I asked them to choose a black dress in a style that they liked, and to show up and walk down the aisle. That’s it. They didn’t make it to the shower (that someone else threw me) or send a gift, and two months ago (our wedding is now in 2 weeks) one of the maids was vague on whether she would even be able to make it to the wedding, when she had agreed over a year ago that she would be there.
Subsequently, I called to discuss this and get an answer either way – sort of giving her an out if she needed or wanted to not be in or come to the wedding. She got really annoyed and said, “I’m going to be there, I said I would be in it, so I’m going to.”
In the last couple of weeks, as plans for the rehearsal and lodging have firmed up, I have emailed both girls the plan as far as what’s happening, dates, times, etc. and asked that they let me know when they’re arriving and where they’re staying. I have not yet heard back from either of them. I am afraid to call the one mentioned above who got annoyed with me because I don’t want her to get aggressive again, and the other has been overseas and just got back, so she is without a phone.
At this point I feel like I want to save the drama, avoid having my feelings hurt, and tell them that if they come to the wedding at all, they can just sit with everyone else. Obviously at two weeks out I don’t want to rearrange everything, so that may be more a pipe dream than anything, so I’m more or less stuck with them in the wedding if they do indeed show up. I may be overreacting somewhat, but all I’m asking of them is to buy any old dress, figure out when they’re coming, and then get here. Not difficult, in my mind. I’m getting freaked the closer it gets to the wedding, and I’m taking their lack of contact really personally.
Does anyone have advice? How should I cope? What should I do?