(Closed) Ay yi yi, Fiance added a hot girl on snapchat..

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Half Moon Bay

I think you both know it is obvious why he is following her on snapchat and by asking him it probably seemed like you were instigating a fight. That is why he stayed silent probably. You both already know the answer but you were most likely going to guilt him with your insecurities and it could have potentially been a fight.

Not trying to be mean, just feel like this is the reason why he didn’t bother responding. He knew how you would react.

Post # 47
Member
10306 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Men like to look at hot women (and women like to look at hot men, on the other hand). I don’t see a problem as long as he isn’t out spreading his seed all over the land.

Fiance follows tons of beautiful ladies on social media and GASP he even knows some of them in real life! *cue thunder* He also has a really adorable crush on the local weather girl. However, i’m very secure in myself and our relationship and I know that not only would Fiance never disrespect me by crossing a line, these ladies who full and well know who I am (and many whom i’ve become great friends with) would never disrespect me in that manner either. 

Post # 48
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I’m gonna say I would put this in porn/eye candy category (especially since I know some of those insta-models can get pretty naked). 

Do you guys have a discussion on whats appropriate for you both to follow on social media? (just in case this super super bothers you, I feel like its okay for you to tell him that and for him to respectfully stop). 

Also remember he’d rather look at her for a couple seconds, he wants to spend his life looking at you

Post # 49
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

It’s naive of you to think that he wouldnt think anyone else besides you was hot. Move on from it! 

Post # 50
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My husband and I must be insanely old fashioned. We’ve been together four years and I don’t think in that time has either of us commented on how “hot” someone else is, celebrity or not. It’s not a rule or anything but it’s just something we’ve never done. Now I’m sure he does notice other women as I sometimes notice other guys if they are exceptionally good looking but I don’t see the need to follow them on social media. But neither of us have Instagram or snapchat. He doesn’t even have Facebook but I do just for friends and family. 

It’s just never been a “thing” in our relationship. Call me a freak or whatever but I just don’t have the desire to see or fantasize about anyone other than my husband, it feels wrong and disrespectful to our marriage. 

 

OP, I can see why you are upset but you said that you two talk about attractive people regularly. So that makes me curious about why he got so quiet and gave you the silent treatment if it wasn’t for a shady reason? Given that it’s an acceptable thing in your relationship I am surprised he acted guilty about it. Seems strange.

Post # 51
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
mrs0215:  So this is just some random model not someone he knows it real life right? If so then I don’t think it’s a big deal. 

Post # 52
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

For the record, I would briefly have a heart attack seeing this on my FI’s snapchat too! But once I realized it was a random “insta-celeb” that he didn’t know personally, I’d just *side-eye* him hahaha. I get it, bee!

Post # 53
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
slomotion:  😂 Spreading his seed out over the land

Post # 56
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
mrs0215:  If he feels ashamed to be doing it then he shouldn’t be doing it. Everyone has different expectations on their relationships. Like, porn is not and never has been a part of our relationship. Gasp! That’s right! I don’t agree with “boys will be boys” That’s bullshit and a cop out if you ask me. Don’t let people tell you that you’re being ridiculous or insecure. You need to work out the limits and expectations of your relationship with your Fiance and no one else. 

Post # 58
Member
1961 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

He’s not dead. He can look at other girls. There are way more important thing to get upset about in life. 

Post # 59
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Half Moon Bay

Does he watch porn? It seems like you would be super against that, and if not why does some random IG celebrity matter?

Post # 60
Member
10306 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
mrs0215:  Oh bee, I was with a dude 7 years that cheated on me constantly. I won’t go through the other details of my sad life story because its neither here nor there. The point is, I choose not to let those things break me. I didn’t let some loser who treated me like crap make me BELIEVE I was crap. The way he treated me and the things he did are a reflection on him, not on me. I was a good partner. I was loyal, I supported him, I loved him. He was a shitty partner who didn’t deserve to lick my boot. 

I worried when we broke up that I might have trouble trusting someone else or being secure. But I never had problems at all with that. I love myself. I think i’m great and i’m pretty damn hot. I’ve got a lot going for me. What does that guy have going for him? Nothing at all. 

In the end, I made a choice. I decided not to let him control my future and my happiness. Right now, you’re allowing whatever has happened to you in the past control your happiness and it just ain’t worth it, girlfriend. 

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