Post # 1
Hi bees!! my wedding is 19 days away!!! ahhhh. well this coming Monday is my rsvp deadline (7th)… I already know of a few that are unable to come. I would like to still invite people that I initially skipped over (50 person limit). I want to fill my seats and get my moneys worth from the caterer whos minimum was 50. Can I just personally call or have coffee to explain to close friends why I had immediate family first and now would love for them to join us OR am I out of luck?? I could mayyybeeee print out a few invites and send but im really out of time. help!!!
Post # 2
19 days away is too close. I’m all about sending a 2nd round of B list invites, but not that close to the wedding.
Post # 3
I think that would be rude and could potentially hurt peoples’ feelings. I think your list is where it is at this point.
Post # 4
I hope you tell them that this is why you’re inviting them:
“I want to fill my seats and get my moneys worth”
Not because you care about them, want them to be there to share your special day, etc etc.
Best case scenario, you’ll look rude. Worst case scenario you’ll look money grubbing and greedy.
Ask your caterer if you can upgrade any part of the meal/apps/have a late night snack/dessert bar/upgraded bar to make up for any missing guests.
Also, make sure to FOLLOW UP with each guest that hasn’t RSVPd so you know for sure. Dont assume that because you didnt get their rsvp that they aren’t coming.
Post # 5
Eeek, this conversation doesn’t usually go down well…
For what it’s worth, I have no problem with b list invites. But I think B list invites and their acceptance are dependent on the area you’re from. I think it’s about knowing your crowd and how they’ll react. Personally I would still prefer a paper invite but explaining to me over coffee would also work. I wouldn’t want a call it would just seem too informal and I overthink everything so I’d probably wonder if I were actually invited or I just misinterpreted the phone call.
Post # 6
I would absolutely never say that or even imply. I truly want my friends there… it was firstly immediate family but now that some cant travel and the likes I would like to invite my friends… I think they would be understanding. But how do I best approach?? Invite or personally? Thanks!
Post # 7
Make sure you contact everyone who hasn’t sent in an rsvp yet
I had a relative turn up on the day, after telling family that he wasn’t coming, he then arrived with his partner… thankfully we had enough.
Any newer good friends you might be able to invite…
I invited my bridesmaid’s parents to our evening reception around a month before the wedding, they were thrilled. This was just after they asked if they could come to the church to see their daughter all dressed up….
Post # 8
loz24 : I do the same, maybe I will personally see them and hand them an invitation with a thanks for understanding family was our first priority (and im so glad SO’s aunt cant make it so I could have you there and have been dying to ask you!)
Post # 9
This is a touchy situation and some people’s emotions can get hurt by this. With that being said, I think that if they are your true friends, letting them know that you wanted to share this special day with them but due to the size of your family, you were highly limited to the friends you could invite. Now, you konw that certain members of your family will not be attending, you would be more than thrilled if they can attend. I plan to do this as we are in the same situation. Lots of family so barely any room for friends.
Post # 10
I’m in a bit of a same boat, but decided not to extend a b list invtation. I could’t come up with any wording to help explain and I worry a lot about how people feel. While all our invited guests are attending, a few of them aren’t bringing a +1 so we have some room (our wedding celebration is for 40 guests). RSVP due date is 10 November, so I feel like the invites will blantantly come across as a b listed one. Plus our groups of friends have made accommodation bookings, and the newer guests who are close to this group will realise they missed out on the initial booking. I just couldn’t find the words. But, if I could, I would have reached out directly and explained the late invite. I like your words above about family being a priority and how you’re glad your aunt isn’t making it. Good luck!
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
carter2bee : I don’t think you actually feel this way and I’m usually the last person to call anyone gift grabby nor do I have an issue with B lists but your post and comments are worded pretty badly. There’s no need to imply you only want to invite extras to fill seats and get your moneys worth bc you’ve already stated as much above. Those are your listed reasons. Its very late to invite others and definitely don’t do so before following up with everyone since your deadline hasn’t yet arrived. If you choose to invite others please do not mention that you’re, “So happy such and such can’t make it”, no need for this. 😧
Post # 12
heavenlyflower : yes, I tend to be blatantly honest and sharp. my apologies 🙂 Im also running out the door to take my kiddos trick or treating so not putting 100% into my post. Thank you for pointing it out! :-/
Post # 13
Do it personally, call or see them in person. If phrased correctly and only said to the people that you’re sure will understand, then its totally fine. Just don’t ask people who you think will be offended- its better to not fill the chairs than to upset/hurt people.
Post # 14
I think this is incredibly tacky. Pretty sure you’d be offending anyone you B-listed.
Post # 15
I’ve been B-listed and didn’t feel offended at all. We were super excited to go to the wedding and celebrate with our friends! People who love you should be understanding that you have a budget, family priorities, or other restrictions.
In our case, the bride sent a text 3 weeks ahead to save the date, and then we received an invitation in the mail a few days later. No need for further explanation.