Post # 1
Hello, I didn’t plan very well and we have a lot more no RSVPs than expected. I would say over 30% declined. I wanted to invite a few more parents friends and maybe a could coworkers who I am friendly with. The wedding is 5 weeks away. Will it seem rude to send an invite now? What RSVP date would seem rude? (like if you got an invite and you had to rsvp in a week). Thanks so much!
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
6-8 weeks is the norm for sending out invites. So 5 weeks isn’t “too late”. I would base the RSVP date off whenever you *Really* need to know by. If you have to have numbers in the week before then I’d have the new rsvp date a couple days before that.
My parents invited a couple of their friends last minute (like the week of) and they all seemed very happy to be included. They understood that our friends and family came first before our parent’s friends.
Post # 3
portlandbee: at this point it’ll seem clear that it’s a b list so I would find it rude.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t mind getting an invite late. It’s the thought that counts! I actually forgot a couple of people in my initial list, so I sent those out the day I remembered. No one seemed to mind. Of course, it would never occur to me that I was a “b-list.” I would just assume that the invites got sent out late. hmm.
As for the RSVP date, at least give them a few weeks. Sometimes things get lost in the mail. The longer you wait for the RSVP, the more likely they are to feel like they were included in the first round.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t mind. Go ahead! Worst case scenario is that they are wrongfully offended and decline.
There are a lot of people I would have loved to invite to the wedding that are “newer” friends within the past year that weren’t part of our original headcount. I have already been able to invite a few of them due to “no’s” that I have already received from family. If they are offended, they are doing a very good job of hiding it.
Putting myself in someone elses shoes, I would not be offended at all. This has happened to me before. Weddings are costly, and I understand I won’t always make the first cut, even if I am decently close with them.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Country Club
Give them a few weeks. 3 should be fine if thats enough time for you to give your final numbers to the venue. When I sent out my b-list, they had a 3 week rsvp date because I had cut it close and we had to pay a month in advance for every head. Thankfully, everyone sent back within a week or so.
Post # 7
I don’t see an issue with it, especially with coworkers. They aren’t going to know ‘wedding protocol’ off the top of their heads. Go for it.
Post # 8
portlandbee: In my office, thats how it has worked. We got “B” list invites depending on the space available after they started receiving their RSVP’s. Personally, I know I definitely wasn’t offended nor was anyone else I spoke to.
People get it, weddings are expensive and they know how it works. I wouldn’t think too much about it and go ahead and just send the invites out.
Post # 9
Thank you everyone. I’m not trying to offend anyone. The “B” list invites are just newer work friends and parents friends who we really don’t see often. I would love to invite everyone I could!
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2014 - The Celebration Farm
I would invite them! They may not even know they were “B listed”. We sent out B list invitations to many people, and nobody ever said anything to us. I think 5 weeks is still plenty of time for them to send back their RSVP.
Post # 11
i would invite them. weddings are expensive and you invite those you are closest to and host as many people as you can afford. most people understand that. no one is going to come up to you and say “just got my invitation, so i was on your b-list?”. and if they do, they’re the rude ones!