(Closed) B-list problems.. tacky?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you’re going to do a second round of invites I would order more invitations.

Post # 4
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You still have time – could you just grab some DIY invites from Michael’s?  Use a coupon?  It doesn’t matter if they look the same as the originals, but I think if you’re going to invite people, it would be nice to send a real invitation.

Post # 5
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t actually tell people that “hey, we had a lot of declines so now you’re invited!”  Especially in an email.  I’d just buy more invitations and send them.  

Post # 6
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@brighteyedgirl:  I would send an official invitation to these guests. Emailing is in the same boat as setting up a FB event for your wedding…it’s tacky and not proper. Those are for inviting to casual get togethers. This is your wedding, which should be a formal affair.

 

I hope you get a great turn out!

Post # 8
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with the other ladies, I would send out another set of invites (even if they are from Michaels or something), and not say that are B-listed.

Post # 9
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You can always send electronic invites, in the interest of being more environmentally friendly. An evite might be too far to the extreme but there’s nothing wrong with photoshopping a nice invite layout and emailing it, as long as the recipients are tech-savvy.

Post # 10
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brighteyedgirl:  I don’t think they’d even know if they got a different looking invite than the others on the guest list, but they’d definitely know they were B-listed if they got an email.  Like the others suggested, you’re probably fine with just getting some DIY invites or something.  =o)  

Post # 11
Member
12953 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, emailing them would be very rude and show that they were B-listed.  Definitely go for the extra invitations or making some DIY ones from Michaels.

Post # 12
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@brighteyedgirl:  Every hostess should have a standing B-list: the people she can call upon to balance out a formal dinner-table when expected guests have to cancel. That kind of a B-list is completely unexceptional. It is the kind of favour that very good friends do for one another, without taking offense, performed happily in the knowledge that even though they were not on the original guest list they are about to have a first-rate meal and a lovely evening.

The thing is, the kind of people on a hostess’s emergency B-list are her closest and most trusted friends. And when you have a big once-in-a-lifetime party like a wedding party, your closest and most trusted friends are the people who should be at the top of your A-list; and they’re the people who having received that A-list invitation, are not going to be declining.If you do have friends in that closest-and-most-trusted category that you chose originally not to invite, then by all means extend them the introduction. They will understand. But I doubth that you are going to find forty-four of them, or even enough to make a difference in terms of filling your reception room.

In that case, you may simply have to adapt your set-up to define the space into a smaller area of the room. Forty-odd guests is a nice number for a formal party: small enough that you can even arrange all the place-settings at a single grand banquet table if you want — which is more formal than the usual multi-table set-up. If that’s not your thing, your imagination can probably come up with other ways to turn having a smaller guest-list into an opportunity instead of a problem.

Post # 13
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You should order more invitations.

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

The nice thing about invitations is that, for the most part, people only see the one they themselves receive, so it’s totally fine if the second set isn’t identical to the first round. Print up some real invitations and take advantage of the opportunity to include the friends you now have room for!

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