(Closed) B list

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think people will come if they can, but it really is short notice.

We aren’t having a B list. Personally, if I knew that I was receiving a “B” list invitation, I would think twice about going.

Post # 5
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Not a fan because it implies that some folks are not as important as others and it creates  upset feelings and rifts in relationships. Plus, folks do find out that they are B-listers and get upset and often wish that you hadn’t invited them at all. Those whom you want to share the day with should be part of one list, not a second “if these folks can’t come then we’ll invite a different group to fill chairs, etc”. You can’t use the argument of “if they were upset they would have told us” because most people are raised to keep those thoughts to themselves, no matter how offended or hurt they may be. On the other hand, some people don’t care and will accept an invite to anything.

Post # 8
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Weddings get expensive and not everyone can afford to or wants to share the day with folks they are not close to. Coworkers, casual acquaintances, parents’ coworkers/friends fall into the category of those who would get an announcement (which is more polite than a B list invite) and would not be offended at all if they did not receive an invite. Alot of couples don’t want to share their wedding day, which to many is a very intimate event, with people who don’t care about them as best friends or close family do. Of course, every guestlist is up to the couple.

Post # 9
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2006

Years ago if you were invited to a wedding and did not attend you were not expected to send a gift.

The B list is exactly why I don’t think it should be considered “proper” to send a gift just because you’re invited.  I’m told it’s the modern way of doing things, and I have done it before, but not always — like when my ex BF invited me to his wedding after he cornered a family member less than a month before the invites went out and claimed he was being “trapped into marriage” and “would never love his wife the way he loved me.”  I dunno if he invited me hoping that I would stand up and object or what!

 I’ve had Ex boyfriends invite me.  I have people who obviously don’t even know where I live or that I’m married invite me by sending the invite to my MOTHER’S address!

Regardless, it’s too late now.  Just stand by your decision!

Post # 13
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Just because someone throws you a shower, that doesn’t automatically mean they have to be invited to the ceremony. If your coworkers throw you a shower, you graciously accept the party and then continue with your wedding but you don’t add anyone who was not on the original list, unless you have a ton of money to spend on them and lots of space at your venue. Never do anything out of obligation that you are remotely hesitant about.

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