Post # 1
I just got married on August 28th after seven years of dating. We decided before we got married that I would quit taking my birth control on our honeymoon (first week of November). Now that my wedding is over, people keep asking me if we plan on having kids soon.
I don’t know why, but I think it is the most inappropriate question! You know how it isn’t okay to ask someone how much their house cost, or how many carats are in their engagement ring, or how much money they make…I feel like that question is also an off-limit question as well. I am excited about possibly becoming pregnant in the very near future so I am unsure why I feel this way. I think I might feel this way because for my entire existence, it wasn’t okay to me to have a baby (being married was really important to me before I had children, among other things). Now, we are married, we own a home, we both have great jobs, we make good money…it is finally OKAY to have a baby!
Does anyone else feel this way?!
Post # 3
Yes it’s very nosey but people LOVE babies (more or less) and are excited about the prospect of you guys being able it finally after 7 years being able to have them!
Try not to take offense. I think you’re just mad cuz they’re on to you! =]
Post # 4
No, you’re right. It is NOT ok to ask that question. They’re trying to make conversation, but that is a rude question to ask.
Post # 5
It is kind of rude, but ejs is right-maybe they are just excited that after 7 years you may start trying soon. = )
Post # 6
I agree with you…people can be so nosy about future babies. I dated my now husband for almost 5 years before we tied the knot in June and we get nonstop questions from friends and family about when we are going to have kids. His Dad gave a toast at our wedding and in his toast he said you are my only son, I don’t have any grandkids and I expect them very soon. Geesh!!
Post # 7
I think people always asume you get married and if you have the financial security, home, etc, then the baby is the next step. My husband and I have 5 kids between the two of us (previous relationship) and people still asked me if we were having more – seriously – like 5 kids don’t keep me busy enough?
Post # 8
I do, but I have gotten some off-limit questions: How many carats is your ring? Plus, some of fiances friends are already having “bets” on when we will get pregnant … lol.
Post # 9
Just about any facebook status I post about not feeling well, or being hungry or any sort of physical type of thing illicts a response from one of my aunts or uncles that I “must be pregnant.” They’re just joking, but it’s getting old…
Post # 10
I feel that way too! I hate that question. I wanna be like, “uh, how bout I tell you when I’m pregnant and then you’ll know we plan on having a baby”. But usually I just say, “not sure, we’ll see”. Because it is a personal thing, and its between you and your hubby. I have never shown annoyance with people though because for the most part its just curiousity, they usually mean no harm!
Good luck when you guys do start a fam!
Post # 11
Glad to hear that I am not the only one!
I don’t get offended when I get the questions (especially from family) but I do get kind of awkward…which stinks just the same!
I hear you on the FB status thing! I put the other day that I had “just packed away all my wedding stuff…on to the next chapter” and I got a ton of baby comments! I can only imagine the comments if I said I wasn’t feeling well on any given morning!
Post # 12
We actually had people AT OUR RECEPTION asking us about when we’re going to have a baby. I alternate from being really annoyed when people ask to just trying to blow it off. I think people just sort of assume that you’re going to take that next step soon after getting married for whatever reason. I always think it’s a rude question to ask though, you never know what someone’s reasons/situation might be.
Post # 13
I get this alot too and I’m still on the pill, but I don’t think it is rude. I do think it gets annoying after a while and I would be very uncomfortable if I was trying and having difficulty getting pregnant. However, I know people are just excited and want to know our plans, so I try to smile and say “Not yet, but hopefully in the next couple of years!”
Post # 14
Crazy Aunt “When are you having babies?”
Me “Whenever someone can honestly tell me it doesn’t hurt” SMILE
** please note that my smart-ass comment resulted in a slightly annoyed old lady, but worked much better on my cousin 🙂 *
Post # 15
I’ve been working on responses. I don’t want to slam the door in anyone’s face, because obviously we hope to be announcing a pregnancy soon… but it feels *really* invasive. So, I’ve worked out a few responses depending on my mood.
To the nasty girl who’s first question out of her mouth was “You knocked up yet?”, I wanted to say “What makes you the first to know?” or “Well, if I am it’s news to me.”
But to other folks, I’m saying things like, “These things take their own time.” (which usually results in a person who won’t ask again) or “We’re just enjoying every moment of being married” (which sometimes results in more questions) or to nosy and annoying repeat questioners “We’ll be sure to put you on the list if/when there is anything to tell.”
So far so good, and I’ve noticed the questions dwindling.
Post # 16
Oh my…I am sooooooo dreading this question. When something really irritates me, or I feel like my privacy is seriously being intruded, all my “niceness” goes flying out the door. So, I am really really really hoping that when I’m asked this question for the first time, I’ll somehow dig deep and find something not so mean to say! But, I still like the idea of being able to say, “That’s none of your business you nosy old bat!” I’ll try to refrain though! 🙂 Honestly though, on a more serious emotional level, I am worried because I know I’m going to have a hard time getting pregnant, so I’m afraid it’s going to hurt me more than annoy me when people constantly ask…so, I think I am going to steal Mrs. DG’s answer of “these things take time.” It’s brilliant!