(Closed) Babies 2 years apart or 3 years?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
  • poll: How are your children spaced?

    a year or less (EEEK!)

    around 1.5 years (still eek!)

    2 years

    around 2.5 years

    3 years

    around 3.5 years

    4+ years

    we made plans but life/god/the universe had other ideas

    planning? what's that? we just pop 'em out!!

  • Post # 2
    Member
    4364 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’d go with 3. I only want to be changing one set of diapers at a time. Plus at 3 your son will be more self-sufficient,  which will make it easier on you with a newborn.

    Post # 3
    Member
    9154 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    MrsAKSkier:  We were going for 1.5 – 2 years. I had an early miscarriage but then got pregnant again pretty quickly after that and they ended up closer to 2.5 years apart which has worked out fine. My first was a great sleeper from the get-go though and they were both pretty easy babies. Good luck!

    Post # 4
    Member
    644 posts
    Busy bee

    My mum has drilled it in to me that 4 years is perfect. My brother and I are four years apart and it meant that he started school one month after I was born (I was born in august he turned 4 september 1st and in the uk children can start full time at 4) So i will aim for that but I need the first born first! Several friends have three years apart and have found it stressful to have a toddler and a newborn. Honestly I doubt there is an ideal time and the best thing to do is wing it and see!!

    Post # 5
    Member
    7425 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Mine will be 2 years and 1 month apart. I’m definitely nervous since DD#1 is still a terrible sleeper at 21 months. I like that we’ll get done with the baby/toddler years sooner. I think anywhere between 2-3 years apart would be good. I wouldn’t want to go over 3 years apart since I have read that can really spur sibling rivalry.

    ETA DD is dying for a playmate and is really into babies right now, so I’m hoping she’ll love having a sister close to her age!

    Post # 6
    Member
    7804 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    My sister and I were 4-1/2 years apart, and I cannot think of anything worse. She was old enough to resent me being born, and enough older than me so that we couldn’t really relate to each other on anything. Additionally, from my point of view, a parent just gets over the baby/diapers thing only to start all over again. I couldn’t bear the thought of that.

    We aimed for two years apart, and our first and second were 28 months apart while our second and third were 21 months apart. That really was perfect for us. One was not old enough to have all the baby things packed away or gone before the next one arrived, so we could still use the strollers and other things. And none of them were old enough to really remember life without a sibling. They are two years apart in school, which is perfect, and one always remembers doing the same project or assignments and can help the other. Generally they all get along great and include each other in almost everything.

    I knew that I would have to get the baby stage DONE because once a child was out of diapers and tying their own shoes, it is so hard to go back. Then when the last one was out of a certain stage, we knew we could get rid of everything because we wouldn’t need it again (stroller, crib, bouncy seat, car seat, clothing, age-appropriate toys and books). As the kids got older, we could do different vacations because we didn’t have to plan with a baby in mind. We can go to parks and everyone can ride the rides instead of having one parent wait with the baby while the other takes the older child. We had three children in exactly four years (the oldest and youngest share a birthday), and that spacing was ideal for us.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8027 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My daughters are 8 years apart and they will be almost 13 and 5 when our new (and last) baby arrives in March. My older daughter is from my first marriage- hence the larger gap, but the younger 2 are from DH- we just didn’t feel ready before now. It means lot to have them sleeping through the night and out of diapers. So in your case I would vote 3 years.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4226 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

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    MrsAKSkier:  My brother and I are 2 3/4 years apart. My Mom commented a few times that she regretted it because whenever I finished one developmental phase (ie potty training) my brother would be just starting, so it all felt twice as long for her. That being said, she was a terrible Mother who complained about everything…so just do what your heart tells you 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    7425 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    View original reply
    MrsAKSkier:  Thanks! We’re definitely hoping for an all around easier baby this time! If this baby was even just a good sleeper and nothing else, that would make a huge difference. If we waited for DD#1 to be a good sleeper to have another, we probably wouldn’t ever get around to it haha.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2513 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Our plan (hahaha haha,  a plan.) Is not to try until this baby is at least 18 months.  So that’ll put us just under 2.5 years from birth to birth.  

    A couple of reasons, it’s the minimum time the WHO advises, re: giving your body enough time to properly recover and reset for another baby (babies born closer than that can mean that the 2nd baby is exposed to elevated hormones from the start.) It also means #1 will be a little more independent.  And I think it’s a good age gap (I’m 2 years 9 months older than my sister, it was great growing up. And now she’s my best friend.) And it gives me more than enough time to return to work when the lo is a year, get back into the groove and earn my hours for my second mat leave (we need 600.  And I’d like to have wiggle room just in case something happens at the end to take me off work.) 

    We aren’t super young. So that plays on my mind too and it’s a big reason I don’t want to wait too long before trying for #2. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1624 posts
    Bumble bee

    So I’m a triplet and my younger sister is only 11 months younger than I am. My mom swears she has no idea how it happened (really mom?) and she said it was the hardest 2 years of her life. But once we were all walking she said it was much easier because she was able to tackle everything for the 3 of us at once. Potty training, naps, feeding… my sister was a little early and we were a little late. She had my brother 2 years later, so she couldn’t have been that deterred. 

    I will be 37 when I have my first, so ideally I’d like 2 years between kids, but am kind of running out of time.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11735 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I am just now feeling like I could manage being pregnant let alone having another baby to take care of. DD is 18 months tomorrow and we are starting to try this cycle. So, they’ll hioefully be about 2.5 years apart, which I feel is perfect for us – a nice balance of close in age but fsr enough apart for it to be manageable.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1138 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Mine will be about 18 mos apart, and I didn’t want to wait because we know we want to have lots of kids so why delay?

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