- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I would like to preface this by saying I adore children. They’re these hilarious, messy, tiny, almost drunken people that bring me endless amounts of joy. I do not hate children(as I have been strangely told) I see small children and I just want to squish on their juice streaked faces and kiss their little foreheads. There’s just so much cute in one small little being that it’s hard to contain myself.
What I do hate is when some person(or people) tells me when to have kids, how many to have, blah, blah, blah.
Hold the phone suckers! I’m not even married yet. My Fiance has just freshly started his big boy career. I have two semesters of college left. We’re still trying to buy a home. Why on earth should I even consider children now?
Okay well obviously those baby making loins stir every now and again especially when I have these beautiful friends churning out cherub faced little gerber babies of delight.
But seriously! Can’t a girl get a year or two of sex on the kitchen floor and some naked Sundays before I bring my own hellraising bundle of cute into the world?
But for whatever reason the moment you make a commitment to someone you and you partner must automatically be thinking about children. The more people pester me about it the more joy I feel when I tell them I don’t want kids(I really would like to have 1 or 20 of them)
Oh the look on their faces! *GASP* “You don’t want children? But how can you hate children?”
Because we all know choosing not to have children or being unable to have children ultimately means you despise all children.
One time I told a woman we had no plans on having children soon and if/when we do have children we would really consider adoption.
She literally told me I was being selfish! Uhm…how is adoption selfish you ask?
Oh well it’s selfish because I would be ending my families bloodline and my father would not be blessed with biological grandchildren of his own.
Now that comment pissed me off. I rarely get so angry I blow up on people but that statement completely disrespects my half-sister(my dad’s technical stepdaughter but he’s been around since she was 3 and she’s 38 now) and it disrespects my niece and nephew. Because apparently having my sister and those two kids aren’t a blessing in his life because they aren’t biologically his.
I felt so much anger in that moment.
Then I always manage to find the most random people who tell me I’m going to grow up and be one of “those” women. Apparently all women who don’t have children love to tell other women how to raise their children.
Okay random grocery store lady. I see yoir argument and I raise you ALL people(regardless of child status) like to tell others how to live their lives.
I can’t tell you the number of rants I’ve listened to from my mom friends about this neighbor or that coworker who just has to comment on how said friend is raising her child. “Oh your cosleeping well you must want your baby to die.” “You’re breastfeeding for how long? You make your babies food from what? You actually think your baby will retain sign language?”
On and on and on.
Then I just love the people who try to put an expiration date on what comes out of my lady fridge. Okay people I get it! It’s better to not wait to long because all sorts of things happen as you get older.
I’m not planning on having children in my fifties but I hardly think waiting until I’m oh you know…25-26-27 years old is a recipe for disaster and will doom my children to having “old parents.”
Okay well that’s my schpeel. I think I’m going to go make a sign that says “There is a $5 charge for all baby related conversations, statements, and questions.”
At least that way I can make money off this craziness and put that money toward college funds for those 32 children I’m having.