It is true that usually there are virtually NO Pictures taken during Dinner… for a variety of reasons. Eating pics look awful – Photographers have to eat too (this is typically their “break time in the day”) – And there is a lot of crazy other stuff going on that is distracting overall… Servers running around, lots of noise etc.
However, that said I do get the whole ambiance thing… I wouldn’t want a baby at my Head Table either.
How to tell the Bridesmaid tho without offending at this point in time will be difficult (more so because you’ve already broached this subject… vs just telling her upfront the way things will be)
I think now your options are going to have to change to fit the circumstances.
1- Have a Sweetheart Table just for the 2 of you… nearby but seperate from the Regular Head Table
(I personally find Sweetheart Tables very romantic… the Head Table at my first marriage… was meh… Hubby and I barely spoke to our Attendants, we were too busy chatting to each other, kissing for glass clinking, watching all the things going on in the room around us… and TRYING to eat)
2- Have an ONLY B&G, Bridesmaid or Best Man & Maid/Matron of Honor Table… one on each side of you, let the rest of the gang sit elsewhere.
3- Change the whole concept of WHO gets to sit at your Head Table… Bride & Groom, Best Man & Maid/Matron of Honor, Bride’s Parents, Groom’s Parents
In this scenario, the Bridesmaids & Groomsmen can sit at a seperate table, with their Spouces, Dates, Family etc.
The only other way I could see opening the door on this topic again, would be to say… “I’ve thought about the baby at the Head Table, and it really isn’t going to work for me. The table will be Attendants Only… so no other family members / Guests … be they Spouces, Plus Ones etc (and that includes babies). If that isn’t going to work for you, you have to let me know, because it means I have to revamp the sitting plan to something else (one of the 3 options I’ve listed above)”
Hope this helps, and good luck.
EDIT TO ADD – If you do go with “the talk” you should also be prepared for “the walk”. She might be super offended, and say fine… I’m done !! Which is WHY I suggested the other 3 options to begin with.
I don’t drama in my life at my age… seen enough of it Thank You Very Much. So I’d just look at my other options, talk em over with Hubby2B and pick one that works for the two of you.
BONUS – No hurt feelings… no lost friendships