Post # 1
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
- Wedding: June 2015 - Restaurant
I am going to be honest here hoping no to be critiziced in excess. Please keep in mind this is a venting post, so I do not plan to do “something” about my situation (because I can’t) but just want to scream it out.
I dislike kids. I can’t tolerate them for long periods. They frustrate me and desesperate me. Why? I am not sure, but I think it might be because you can’t have a logical conversation with them. Yes, sometimes they are fun to be around with but eventually they tire me. There are many other reasons which are impossible for me to explain properly, but bottom line: I dislike them.
I also dislike babies. I probably dislike babies more than I dislike kids. Babies are noisy and -pardon mua- ugly. I cringe looking at them. I don’t even like holding them. Most people think I am weird because of this, but I can’t avoid it. I do not like them and when I somebody shows me their baby I have to make a huge effort not to say: “please, don’t show it to me, I don’t like it”, because it’s just isn’t in me to say: “Ohhhh, it’s adorable”, like so many other people. I eventually hope to have kids on my own, but I’m not planning on having until 10 or more years from now (if any).
That being said…In my wedding invitations I included a “No Kids” policy which I hoped all of my guests followed. I don’t want to have a wedding with kids running all around or babies crying the lunges out. Yet, this one far cousin (which my mother insisted on inviting because she invited me to her wedding years ago) has decided to bring her less than two years baby.
I know I shouldn’t be complaining, and I am being reasonable with the whole: “it is a little baby that still need his mother, bla bla bla” thing…But I just don’t like the idea of having a noisy creature in my wedding. I wanted to spend a nice “grown up” evening, and now I know I’ll be dealing with a little thing that makes a lot of noise and a mommy who is probably going to be “feeding” him all thru my wedding (I was raised to think that that is a very intimate thing that you should do at home). I know I am thinking in a very selfish way but I just don’t want to worry about a baby crying in the middle of my ceremony…besides, who brings a less than 2-years old to a wedding? Were there is going to be loud music, people chattering and alcohol? It doesn’t make sense to me. I know the “real” reason they are bringing their baby is because they want my grandparents to meet him, so why not do it on another time? GEEZ! I hope they don’t expect me to say cute things about him, because I just can’t. I am the kind of person who believes that kids under 5 years old SHOULDN’T be allowed in the movies because they just don’t know to behave themselves, and their parents usually never take responsability for them (they stay in the movies even if the baby hasn’t stop crying in 10 minutes!).
I am so mad with the idea of having a baby in wedding that I…argg! It frustrates me, I just hope this far cousing doesn’t stay too long in the wedding.
Post # 2
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
[content moderated for snark]
Post # 3
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
How old exactly is this baby? You said under 2 years, but are we talking 18 months? 12 months? 22 months? Really, unless it’s an infant who is still exclusively breastfeeding, or just still very young, there’s no reason the cousin can’t leave baby with a sitter for a few hours. Honestly, I would tell cousin that you are very sorry, but your wedding is adults only. If she throws a fit and says she won’t come without baby, well, that’s one less person you have to feed.
I have an 18 month old and we are going to my cousin’s wedding in two weeks. DD was invited and I still don’t want to bring her. Weddings aren’t a good place for kids that young, but all of our babysitters will be at the wedding so we don’t have a choice.
ETA: if you feel that strongly about babies and kids, please reconsider having your own. you seem to have a very strong hatered for kids.
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This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by
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Post # 4
Member
1908 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m pretty good at not being judgmental so I’m not going to address your anti-children stance. Not everyone likes kids or want to be around them, I get it. So, if you specified on your invitations that no children are allowed at your wedding, you need to reiterate that to your cousin. If her child is a toddler, it shouldn’t be as much of an inconvenience for her to make arrangements compared to if she had a newborn.
Post # 5
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
Pretty sure you just offended half of the world. You really didn’t have to go on to describe babies as ugly and creatures. You could have just said someone wants to bring their baby to my no children allowed wedding, how can I say no.
Post # 5
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
Tell her no babies. Period.
agree if you don’t want babies thereby shouldn’t have them there.
Also Cosign on the utter disdain for babies and kids. I find they are icky. . And usually I wind up saying it much to everyone’s utter shock. And no. I doesn’t to hold them.
Speaking of. Why if you don’t like babies do people with babies try to force them in to your arms. Oh here hold it!
No. No thank you.
Post # 7
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
Why would anyone assume she wants them of she clearly doesn’t like them? .
hate when people tell me that. Like geeeee no kidding.
Post # 8
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
Wowee… just wow.
As for the wedding – Ring your cousin and tell her if she cant come without her baby then she cant come at all. there is no harm in insisting on a child free wedding.
BUT while you’re at it just tell her all these thoughts you have so everyone can know your true colours and keep their poor kids away from you.
Post # 9
Member
6957 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Serious question: why do you want to one day have kids? You seem to despise them.
Post # 10
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
JoRocka: I don’t know – people just think everyone wants to hold their babies. I don’t like holding babies and never have but sometimes you have to pick your battles and pretend. It is the better policy in the long run. I don’t hate kids though.
Post # 11
Member
6883 posts
Busy Beekeeper
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Post # 12
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
nycsa: indeed
I find it weird. I tend to just say no thanks and walk away! . Battle picked and won.
My boss just had a baby in November. While I’m happy for her… Honestly it’s fucking awful. She’s obsessed. Problem is she’s the manager of a multimillion dollar program. She’s trying to be both and on our end it means she’s not particularly effective. . I can’t genuinely speak for the other end but jebebeish. It’s rough. I’m glad people like to have babies. I think it’s important. But I want nada to do with it!
Post # 13
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
Okay, we get it, you don’t like kids! LOL.
But why do you think you can’t do anything about her bringing her baby? Is it still exclusively breastfeeding?
Post # 14
Hostess
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Don’t stress, you’re venting and that’s fine. It’s also fine to not like children.
If you don’t want babies at your wedding then tell your cousin what’s up. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask a mother of an almost 2 year old to leave their child with a trusted friend or relative for a few hours.
Post # 15
Member
3847 posts
Honey bee
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Honestly, I would DO something about it. I know you said your post wasn’t about that and it was just for venting, but it really annoys me when someone decides they just don’t care what parameters were set for a wedding. I’m likely in the minority, but if someone has a rule or idea I don’t like, then I don’t go. I don’t say “screw that, I’m gonna go and do what I want anyway.”
With any luck your grandparents will absorb all the baby time.
Edit: It’s perfectly fine to not like kids. My best friend actively hates babies/kids. They just aren’t his thing and he doesn’t want to be within earshot of them at any time. You are not at all alone.
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This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by MiniMeow.