Post # 46
I understand the vent and you are totally entitled to your opinion. However I hope once you’ve vented you will just let this go on the day and not be evil-eyeing the baby instead of enjoying your wedding!
You have chosen not to tell your cousin she cannot bring her baby, that is *your* choice so if the baby starts crying during the ceramony you really will have no-one to blame but yourself for allowing the baby to attend!
Post # 47
[content moderated for baiting]
Post # 50
Not going to touch the “creature” comments with a 10 foot pole.
But if you said no kids, have your mom call her up and tell her sorry, but there are no children allowed. Maybe she could bring a grandparent or a nanny to watch the child at the hotel during the wedding. Frankly I think it’s rude to let one guest bring a child while others had to secure a babysitter like responsible adults.
Post # 51
I’m not so much offended by you calling babies ugly, but rather by your ridiculous spelling of a french phrase.
Post # 52
I’m the same – don’t hate them, but don’t like them, either. Apparently I told my mother when I was 9 I wasn’t having kids…37 years later and I never changed my mind.
I’ve posted before about how my H’s cousin’s baby ruined our wedding vows by screaming all through them…to the point that the celebrant STOPPED HALFWAY THROUGH. We ended up binning our wedding video as you couldn’t hear anything during the ceremony but the screaming baby. I just hope it has better brains than it’s fucking moronic parents, who actually had to be told to take the damn thing outside…
I’d stick to your guns. You don’t want children, that means your cousin doesn’t get to attend. I wouldn’t even invite her.
Post # 54
lol omg you are funny! Who cares how old the baby is, your wedding, you specified no kids, inforce it! Maybe just politely say to your cousin that she will be the only baby there as everyone else can read!
Post # 55
Your cousin is wrong. Why is there an exception for her? On what basis? Is she going to give more of a gift besides? No, if she thinks the world revolves around her having a kid then she probably expects the world to subsidize the kid as well. And if the kid is a toddler, why haven’t the grandparents met the kid already anyway??
Post # 56
Absolutely excellent follow up post on venting and why do people insist on responding with ignorantly rude, judgmental comments. The real reason is bc they may just be a-holes at heart. IMO. lol
Post # 57
I can’t tell if you are generalizing when you say breastfeeding should only happen at home, and really mean that you think it shouldn’t happen in public or if you genuinely believe no mother should ever breastfeed out of the home. When you say it should only happen at home, it seems like even if she breastfed in a private room or restroom at your wedding you would still have a problem with it. Is that the case? I’ve never met anyone who felt so strongly about it so I’m curious.
Also, agree with PP. She is rude for bringing the child but you’re going to have some annoyed other parents if she gets to bring her kid and they don’t.
Post # 58
If you just want to express feelings without getting any feedback, write yourself a note and leave it at that. Once you involve other people, you’re going to get feedback. And if the only feedback you received was people saying “YEAH! What you said!!” you’d start to think “Hm, maybe I’m NOT over-reacting. Maybe I should do something about this after all!” Seeing feedback from the other side helps keep your perspective in check. Also, other people use these boards as a resource, and it would be counter-productive for them to look up a topic and see all one-sided responses. It’s perfectly appropriate for people to post differing opinions so someone who reads this a month from now doesn’t think, “oh good, apparently it’s normal and socially acceptable for me to refer to babies as ugly creatures who feed during weddings. I thought it would be frowned on.” No, it IS frowned on, especially when said by someone who goes on to say they plan to have kids someday. You can vent, but other people can and will respond. That’s how boards work.
Post # 59
I’m not a kid or baby lover either. I’ve never connected with them and I always feel so awkward around them, mostly because kid shows and interests today are much lamer than mine were lol. That and multiple other reasons.
Anyways, Is your cousins baby a newborn or is it older? Honestly, unless it’s a tiny newborn baby and exlusivly breastfed I would tell her no kids and you told everyone no kids – meaning you can’t make an acception for her since other people can’t bring thiers. Offer a babysitter to her even. If she absolutely has to bring her baby I wouldn’t worry about people expecting you to talk to it or hold it. They shouldn’t do that on your wedding day and especially since it’s older.
Post # 60
I laughed when reading your post…in a good way! I can’t stand other people’s kids. I don’t have patience for them and don’t think it’s cute when they act out or are running around wild. Early on in my wedding planning process, I decided to have a childfree wedding. The thought of little kids running around my wedding, hogging the dance floor, possibly making noise during the ceremony was simply too much for me. Bleh. No thank you.
For your specific issue, I would just tell your cousin that the child can’t come. Period. You understand if she can not come because of it and you’re very sorry, but if you let her child come, you have to let everyone else’s child come, and it’s simply not possible. I had a good friend of mine (who has three kids) tell me that she wouldn’t be coming to the wedding if her kids weren’t invited. I feel badly and a part of me almost backed down because I truly want her there, but if I let her kids in I have to let everyone else’s kids in. When I started counting, it was too much.
Also, newsflash, you can not like kids but still want them yourself. Like I said above, I really don’t like other people’s kids. I’m not amused by them, I rarely find them cute, but in a few years, yeah, I do want my own. The same way I hate other people’s dogs. I loved my own dog more than anything and I was a very good dog owner, but I trained my dog properly and he was well behaved.