Post # 1
We are not planning on TTC until we have no credit card debt (next summer, most likely). However, anyone we mention children (in general) to cry, “but you don’t own a house!”
Is it really that big of a deal to not own a house before you have a baby? Honestly I don’t mean any offense to people who bought before having a baby, or who waited until they were older to have a baby, but I don’t want to wait ten years – when we are ready to start TTC in a year or so – just so I can say I bought a house first. It frustrates me when people say that to us.
While I do understand the benefits of buying, we rent my in-laws duplex, for a measly 600/month. It’s 3 bed, 2 bath – other side of the house Darling Husband grew up in, actually. LOL.
Personally, my parents didn’t buy a house until I was about 10 and my brother was 6. We moved often, yes, but seem to have come out okay.
For those of you who rented with a baby, is it really that miserable? :/ People have me slightly distressed!
Post # 3
All over the world people bring up children in apartments, townhomes, duplexes, condos etc.
Post # 4
buying a house before you know how big your family is going to be just seems silly to me.
Post # 5
It seems like it would be easier to have a baby in a house simply because you’re not living so close to others. I’ve had really noisy neighbors in the past who woke me up in the middle of the night, so I can only imagine how awful that would be with a baby.
However, like julies1949 said, people everywhere bring kids up in other environments than houses. Darling Husband and I will probably be in a townhouse or an apartment when we have our first child just because that’s the way it’s looking financially.
I think it’s important to be responsible about being financially responsible before TTC, but I don’t think you need a house to have enough money to raise a child.
Post # 6
@sorrycharlie: Some people don’t like the idea of owning a home. Just because the “social norm” is to buy a house doesn’t mean you have to. Renting and buying both have their positives and negatives.
Next time someone makes a comment like that, tell them you enjoy not having to worry about making repairs and having more freedom to move if you so choose.
Post # 7
@Stellar Magnitude: That’s a great point about having the freedom to relocate. That’s one of the big reasons Darling Husband and I want to wait a while before investing in a home!
Post # 8
When Fiance and I are ready to start TTC, I don’t think we will own a home yet. He wants to go into academia, and we most likley won’t buy until he is on the tenure track somewhere, and that might be up to 10 years from now. I don’t think that its mandatory, especially since you don’t have to worry about bad neighbors, living next to your inlaws and all 🙂
Post # 9
As brideatbeach said, being financially responsible before TTC, yes– that’s absolutely necessary. And for some, that means owning a home, or for that matter, meeting any other number of financial goals. But to us, owning a home is not only unnecessary before starting a family, but for us, would be financially irresponsible right now. I’ll tell you in a few months if renting is a problem for us after baby is born, but I see no reason to worry about it for now.
It sounds like you are prioritizing meeting certain financial goals (reducing credit card debt) and are financially responsible enough to recognize that need before starting a family, so I don’t see why homeownership should be an obstacle to starting a family for you. Esp. since your current situation suits your needs so well.
Post # 10
@sorrycharlie: You said “everyone” is making comments about your renting-status, but who are these people? If it’s your in-laws, is it a passive-aggressive message? Maybe they aren’t too thrilled with living next door to a potentially noisy child? Not everyone is especially delighted at having a child next door, even if it is a grandchild. Also, they might feel like they need to put some distance there if they sense a threat of becoming a “built-in babysitter” by proximity.
Of course I’m not ascribing these things to them whatsoever, and I am not suggesting that your intent is to infringe upon the in-laws, but I know people that operate in this indirect fashion. It’s not the most mature way to make a point, but often people do it regardless.
Hopefully this will work out for you no matter what. I grew up in an apartment setting, and I grew up perfectly well. I had plenty of space to play in, and great neighbors. Your kids won’t be missing out on anything if you don’t own your own house right away. Congrats to you for wanting to welcome a new little one into the family.
Post # 11
Same boat! We’re TTC now, and we’re still in my parent’s in law apartment (which is really just the basement floor of their house with private bedrooms, living area, kitchen, bath, laundry, etc). We’re still working on paying off debt and saving for a house. If we don’t get there by the time that we get pregnant/baby comes, we’ll be resorting to a condo or townhouse. My only requirement is that we have our own home with a yard for baby to play in by the time his/her late toddler years come around so they have the freedom and space to play, etc. My parents are totally aghast at this plan (Do you think it’s the generation?) but I really don’t see the big deal about it for the very beginning of a baby’s life.
Post # 12
Our biggest reasons to consider not buying until after having a baby was 1) what if we have twins and 2) what if I want (or need) to stay at home?
We think we are going to buy before we have a baby, but we might wait. But it’s a concern that we might need to go down to one income, but will be stuck in a house that we need two incomes to pay the mortgage.
Post # 13
@KoiKove: this is exactly what I’m concerned about – now would be affordable with one income, but purchasing a home would not be (at least, for us!)
@StuporDuck: I completely understand where you are coming from – but they, surprisingly, are the only ones who haven’t really mentioned it. My parents mentioned it, my grandparents, aunts etc, even some friends (who don’t have children or own, so idk why they really care).
@MrsMaine: could definitely be a generation thing! maybe it was easier for them to buy, or more convenient, I’m not sure, but I’ve noticed it’s mainly the same age group that I hear it from!
To everyone else – thank you for the reassurance! I for sure thought I’d hear the same thing here that I’ve been hearing elsewhere, it’s so refreshing to hear from other people in the same boat – or who will be in the same boat in the future! 🙂
ETA – not sure why I didn’t mention this in the beginning, but the reasoning I’ve gotten thus far is that once you have a baby, you can never save again. I might be totally ignorant as I’ve never had a baby, but I feel like if we were in a home and living situation we can afford on one salary, and extra money I would make part time would go right into savings!
Post # 14
@sorrycharlie: Darling Husband and I were in an apartment when our son was born and it wasn’t fun… people would complain whenever my son would cry, its not like I was ignoring him! Baby’s cry!
Then we rented a house, which was great because of a huge backyard and so much more space. Definitely try to rent a place with a yard.
But we are buying now that our son is 2. We just don’t like renting since it seems like a waste of money…renting is actually a lot more expensive where I live than buying. A house that’s mortgage would be $1400 is $1900 when renting.
ETA: You can save when you have a baby! We spent less than $800 on the nursery and $1300 on hospital bills, then with our baby showers we really didnt need anything else until my son was about 9 months (other than diapers) maybe we just got a ton for our showers…
Post # 15
@Heatherloveskenny: holy moly that’s expensive! we pay 600/mth in rent (and we have a fenced in backyard, which is great for our dog). I looked into some mortgage calculators, and a typical mortgage around here (for a house we could afford..1000-1500 sq ft or similar) would be 800-1200/month in mortgage. sometimes I swear we should move south, much cheaper! but there are pros and cons everywhere I suppose.
Once we’re both working, definitely doable – and once he’s licensed (electrician’s apprentice).
Post # 16
@sorrycharlie: Seriously?! Wow, I need to move to where you are. We pay $950 in rent for a two-bedroom apartment.