(Closed) Baby before Wedding???

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Babies Before Wedding
    YES.. GO ahead time is clicking away..... : (23 votes)
    35 %
    NO.. Wedding planning is very stressful it might take away from the process of either or BOTH : (43 votes)
    65 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    440 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I’d say it really depends on how you both handle stress and what kind of wedding you’re planning! I wasn’t pregnant while planning a wedding but had a very DIY low-key event, we also bought our house at the same time and have been renovating it this past year {while I have been pregnant}. From my experience it wouldn’t have been too much to plan a wedding while pregnant, but I can’t speak about trying to host one with a young child! That I imagine would be a lot more stressful… you’d definitely want a relative or close friend on baby duty during your event.

    That said one of my cousins-in-law is doing just that, her baby turns one next month and they’re getting married in the summer. It’ll be a low-key backyard event, but it can definitely be done!

    Good luck!

    Post # 4
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    if you’re planning something low key, i think you could do it. i would just be careful that you don’t have the baby too close to the wedding, because i’m not sure you would want to leave your reception to go pump or breastfeed!

    what about moving the wedding up a year? is that an option?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    If you want to wait until the wedding and he wants to start now why not push the wedding up?  What are the reasons its so far away?  Could you have a small wedding in 6 months say and already be pregnant or just starting to try?  I know people who’ve had a kid before the wedding and it really isn’t that big of a deal.  Whatever works for you and your family.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Why don’t you guys just push the wedding up?  I know weddings are expensive but so are babies.   Just wondering what factors would keep you from getting married within the next two years, but aren’t stopping you from starting a family immediately. It’s kind of counterintuitive. 

    As a 33 year old woman myself, I completely understand the burning desire to start a family right away.  Waiting the next 9 weeks to TTC is killing me, I can’t imagine waiting another 2 years.  Of course, that’s why we’re having a short engagement. 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    971 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    We had 3 babies before getting married.  Our running joke was that every time we’d discuss planning a wedding or start looking at venues, etc., I’d get pregnant again and we’d backburner it. 

    We ended up with a last minute, unplanned JoP ceremony with our kids, parents and siblings.  It was perfect and exactly right for our situation. 

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    971 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    That’s the thing … you don’t know how long it will take to get pregnant.  You might get lucky the first try or it might take a year or more.  You might be pregnant on your wedding day! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    354 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Laurel Rock Farms, PA

    I would def find a way to push your wedding up. Even if you have to take a few things out to make it happen. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @Mz.MM:  It’s not hard to plan a wedding in under a year.  My engagement will be 7 and a half months when all is said and done and it hasn’t been difficult at all.  

    I’m sure it’d be a LOT harder with a baby, though.  Honestly, it doesn’t make sense to have a two year engagement when you:

    1. Don’t need to for budgetary reasons.

    2. Are anxious to start a family. 

    3. Are older and thus, aren’t waiting to finish school or anything like that. 

    I say bite the bullet and start planning, girl!  It’s really not as scary as it seems.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    FH and I have a 17 month old daughter together. We unexpectedly got pregnant when we were engaged, and I didn’t want to be pregnant at my wedding, so we decided to wait… then my dad’s job moved him to Germany for a year and he had a limited number of days he could come back to the US without losing his overseas tax break, and I just didn’t want to risk him not being able to be there. So when he came back, we finally started planning again and it’s not been hard with the baby. I mostly do my planning while she’s napping or after she’s gone to sleep, and when I’ve met with vendors, either her dad or another family member keeps her so I’m not distracted. One thing I’d caution is I’d get married BEFORE having the baby only because once they come, you feel so guilty spending any money on yourself. Every penny I commit to this wedding I think, “But how could that have gone to Channing..” and it sucks! Typical parental guilt, all parents do it. But it would be so much easier to just plan the wedding you want and not feel bad about it. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Yay!  Glad to help. 😀

    I’m telling you, 7 months was/is PLENTY of time for me.  In fact, I wish the wedding was sooner!  Short engagements are also great for indecisive brides, as it forces you to make decisions in a timely manner.  Less time to hem and haw = easier time making decisions. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Hmmm….  My good friend is currently due in March and will have their wedding in September but it’s too early to say how that’s going to work out planning wise.  My engagement was 8 months long (Jan to Sept, we spent $12k) and honestly, it could have been shorter.  It all depends on how you work I guess.  9 months is plenty of time to find good deals and get things in order.  Shoot, if you can grow a baby in that amount of time surely you can plan a wedding!  😉

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