(Closed) Baby blues…

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 5
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

In my opinion, if you are emotionally and financially able to care for a baby, then it is completely up to you.  It sounds like you would have good support from your family which is very important.  Unless you are going to depend on your Mother-In-Law for money or child care, she does not get a vote.  I also think once you are actually pregnant or the little one is born, that things will turn around and she will be very happy to be a grandmother.

If I were you, I would spend 3-6 months getting into a very healthy routine, taking prenatals, storing as much money as possible, and if on BC- stop taking it and let cycles regulate (use condoms).  Then I would start trying to conceive.  You have to do what is right for you.  There are plenty of young moms out there who do great.  It sounds like you have a great relationship.

Good luck!

ETA- as for the college thing, there is always going to be SOMETHING in the way… so I wouldn’t let that stop me.  If it was YOU and not your husband that was in school I might think differently, but I think the situation you described is totally doable.

Post # 6
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I was in a similar situation.  We had the house and the jobs to support a child.  I realyl wanted one in the next few years, but I was worried due to family history of infertility and my own personal issues with PCOS.  We decided to NTNT after our wedding and see if anything happened.  I spoke with my Endocrinologist and she said that at our ages (25 and 27) it wasn’t cause for infertility concerns until a year of trying did not work.  Well all that worrying was for nothing because we got pregnant the first month of trying! Was it earlier than we expected? Yes! Are we scared? Yes! But we are so excited for this baby to come this October and realized that like Schatzie821 said, you will never be totally “ready.”  Good luck 🙂

Post # 8
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I feel like there is never a ‘right’ time because something will always be going one or people are always waiting for just one more thing. My husband and I decided to just go for it, even though I’m on disability waiting for a diagnosis (maybe epilepsy, or some other brain thing). Who knows what else it will be after that. Waiting for a promotion? Move into a bigger house? We got pregnant really quickly and are so excited! My doctors are supportive and see no potential ricks with this pregnancy. Do what is best for you and your husband. Only you guys knows what is best.

Post # 9
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Maybe you should wait until the schedule actually becomes a reality to make this decision.

I do agree with the above posters: there really is no “ideal time” to have a baby. There will always be complications in life–and even if there WERE there certainly will be complications raising kids!

Post # 10
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Well. I do understand your wanting to have kids soon because of fertility issues. But you need to ask, is it fair to DH? He won’t be home at all really. He won’t see the first steps or first word or first crawl. He will realize every week that his child is changing and he isn’t there to witness it. He’s also going to be busy at home with schoolwork. 

How many do you want? Maybe you could have one now to just have one and get started, then have more when Darling Husband can be there too.

Post # 11
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My husband started his Master’s the same month we found out we were pregnant with our first child; he finished two years later, right when I became pregnant with our second child and I started my Master’s program.  Up until 4 months ago, we also both worked full-time.  To be honest, it’s hard.  There are definitely times I think we could have waited until we were both done with school, and our lives would be much easier.  On the hand, even when it’s tough, I do believe it was the right time for us to have kids.  In the short-term, it’s hard, but in the long-term, it’s the best timing.

I think it’s important to look at your overall long-term goals.  If your husband wants to complete his doctorate, he’ll be “in school” for another 5 or so years, but he might not have a stable career for a while after that, depending on his field.  You might also want to speak to your health provider about what you can expect, fertility-wise, and maybe talk to your husband about what (if any) alternatives you may be comofrtable with, if you are unable to concieve.  Sometimes you have to make short-term sacrifices in order to realize those long-term goals.  🙂  Good luck!  I hope you figure it out! 

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