(Closed) Baby Drama

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

Haha, parents are so sensitive when you suggest their child might not be a model of exemplary behavior.

 

Are you getting married in a church?  Will there be any other little ones there?  If you’re getting married in a church there is usually a nursery, and I’m sure you could find a teenager willing to hang out in the nursery (or wherever) for an hour for $20.   This is what we did, and all the parents took advantage.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m in the same boat. Both Fi’s sister and her hubby are in our wedding, so we had the same issue. My FI’s sister has almost a 2 year old. He is almost sure to freak out and start bawling even though he’s the ring bearer. We invited her in-laws. We see them a lot at family dinners and stuff. Guess who gets to babysit? Yep. Baby taken care of so Future Sister-In-Law is not distracted during our whole wedding.

I think it’s weird to carry the baby. What, is he a shrine or an offering or something? I keep picturing Lion King. What a distraction. He’s going to be your nephew so I don’t think the situation calls for it appropriately. And, duh, babies cry. To be carried down the aisle is a LOT of stimulation for a baby and will likely scare him. 

Post # 5
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you have some very valid points and I would feel the same. Our officiant is married with a newborn and I spoke with my mother about this. I just wanted it to be clear now that we were not expecting the baby to be at the ceremony for some of the same reasons. The only kids we have coming are 2 neices and a nephew, who are all over the age of 7. I just don’t want any confusion or hurt feelings the day of. Plus, the hotel overlooks the beach where we are getting married and she can sit on the porch with the baby and watch the ceremony from there. And beyond all that, he is officiating the wedding and I (and my FI) really don’t think this is too much to ask.

I think amandopolis is right on with the babysitter thing. Just be honest about your concerns and even throw in for good measure that you know this won’t happen but you just don’t want one more thing to worry about and that this will ease your mind. They SHOULD be happy to oblige!

Post # 6
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I have kids and when they were younger if they would have seen me up in the front at a wedding, they would have cried and tried to get to me, etc.  Yeah, he’ll be with grandma, but that’s not the same, plus it’s a distraction for her.  Can you invite her parents? Or another trusted family member that the baby knows?  Then they could sit near the rear and keep him distracted. 

Post # 8
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If you already have a nursrey being set up, spin it that you think he’d have such a ball playing with the other kids and getting to know his cousins, etc.  Name some of the fun activities or people he could meet if he went there.

Post # 9
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think if you tread lightly and have him approach it in the right way (ie: this is the best thing for you… we will not be worried about it…don’t want to have the mother-in-law distracted…Mother-In-Law has another duty to do…) then it should be ok.

Not to sound all crazy, but this is YOUR wedding and you need to do what will make you the most comfortable and happy. You sound like you and your Fiance are close to both of them and I think they should be able to see it from your point of view as well.

Post # 10
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Wow. I would just flat out say that this is not going to happen, you’re not ok with it and it is your wedding, not hers.

Personally, I would have my fiance chew out his mom and sil. Lol. That is not acceptable to even expect. 

My fiances neice will be that age when I’m married, the mother is bringing her to the ceremony, will obviously walk out if she cries, and will leave her with the nanny during the reception. 

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t see how you are being offensive. You don’t a baby throwing a fit and being distracting during your wedding ceremony. CEREMONY. Not even reception or rehearsal. Surely they’ll wrap their brains around that!

Post # 12
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

Could you ‘blame’ your officiant?  🙂  Say that you mentioned it to him/her, and he/she has nixed the walking down the aisle idea, and requested that all babies be cared for in the nursery during the ceremony, to keep the focus on the serious committment you two are making before God?  OK, OK, so maybe not the best idea to start out marriage with a little fib, but… 

Post # 13
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Dude, there’s no one to offend. It’s your wedding. Personally, I KICKED ALL OF THE KIDS OUT OF MY WEDDING. After much thought, with only 60 adults coming, and 31 nieces and nephews (with 26 of them on my FI’s side) I decided that none of them were invited lol.

I know it sounds awful, and I felt bad inconveniencing the FIs guests at my wedding by making them all find sitters or something, but I really DID NOT want my wedding to be a KIDS PARTY! I mean, I don’t care how well behaved your kids are, what are the odds you are going to make it through an outdoor ceremony with not one of them screaming? Parent’s distracted during the reception keeping them from pulling table cloths down etc.

I don’t care what anyone thinks … I knew no one would be happy about it, but I don’t care. And honestly, I think when they get there, they will be happy to have a night off from the kids … just my opinion anyway.

Post # 14
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

No way is it oka for MOG to be carrying baby in as part of processional.  And I agree that having an 8 month old in a situation where he is watching his parents can only lead to problems.  I’m so confused as to why anyone would think this is okay.  I think the sitter idea is the best one.  I also think maybe they haven’t thought of it from the POV of how hard it’ll be for the little one to be watching while separated from his parents.  Maybe Fiance can point that out?  My nieces (well mine and his) are both a bit older (2 and 3), and will be sitting with their fathers who are not in the wedding and can sneak off if they get fussy (both my sis and Future Sister-In-Law are in the wedding).  So I can’t exactly offer you my solution, but I def. would not want a situation where they were sitting with anyone but a parent.  Good luck with this!  Let us know what happens.

Post # 15
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Baby carrying during the processional isn’t cool to me and I think it is somewhat wierd.

Definitely have a babysitter.  i HAVE seen a wedding where the baby was part of the ceremony/processional and it WAS the baby of the couple being married..thus I would not go along with this.

Post # 16
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Btw:  when I married my xh, my sister had a baby.  She was about the same age.  (she’s a gorgeous 8th grader now!) and nobody carried that baby down the aisle.  She was in the back with a babysitter and when she cried, the babysitter walked her outside the sanctuary so nothing was disrupted.

At the ceremony, the baby (my neice) had fun and was enjoying dancing with her dad (my bil) and had a bite of cake.  The babysitter was "on call" enjoying things and took the baby when she was a bit fussy.  My neice did great, was dressed to the 9’s in a gorgeous party dress, and everybody loved her!

But being IN the wedding?  nope.  I sure wish she had been 2 or 3 years older so she could be flower girl though!

 

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