(Closed) Baby due on wedding

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

oh my gosh i’m sorry things turned out this way! don’t think that your sister timed it this way on purpose – it sounds like a surprise.

i don’t know what to tell you. it might be easier to move your date if that’s feasible. if you’ve booked vendors already, they might not keep your deposit if you’re moving the date instead of cancelling.

Post # 4
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

first, let go of it. it is very possible, as type a she is, that she did not plan this. the body has a way of making fools of us type a’s. even if she did, would you really think it appropriate to have someone tell you not to get pregnant because they were getting married?

people want you to move your date, not just so they can celebrate the new baby, but so they can celebrate your marriage. that’s a good thing. they could have just as easily not addressed it, then no-showed to your wedding when the baby came.

i’d move the date up, so everyone will be able to come. stay positive and be excited. you’re going to be an aunt – and a wife!

ETA: also, relish in the fact that, as the eclectic, type b aunt, your niece or nephew is going ADORE you!

Post # 5
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Unfortunately I don’t think you have much of a choice here, you’re gonna have to move your date.  She’s your sister and it’s your parent’s first grandchild.  She can’t change when she’s due, but you can change when you get married, you know?  It sucks, but it’s the right thing to do.

Post # 6
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

EVeryone’s advice is very nice and sounds like good judgement. I know how hard itis to be in a adversarial role with your sister, and how hard it must be to not see this as yet another intentional way to make you feel bad. I’m so sorry your feelings are hurt, mine wouldbe too, even if I knew it wasn’t intentional.

Assume it was an unplanned pregnancy, which it sounds like it may have been. It will make you feel better, and let you gloat that Miss Type A isn’t always perfect. I reccommend you keep it to yourself, but it’ll make you feel better in your head. Then move one.

There’s nothing you can do, it wasn’t on purpose (in the scenario we just created), move it forward, and throw her a great baby shower.

Post # 7
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Question. Is it really that easy to move your wedding date? I would freak out if someone asked me to change my date. Invitations have been ordered, hotel rooms blocked, contracts signed with vendors. To me, that is not a reasonable request but maybe this is more common than I think it is?

Post # 8
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@LGenz:i took that stance b/c she just got engaged in September and picked a date the first week of October. Chances are not much is booked yet. And, as kitzy suggested, vendors may be willing to move the date without charging a penalty.

Post # 9
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I think it’s a good idea to change the date, although I certainly sympathize with your disappointment. But try not to think of it as a you versus her scenario: she can’t really reschedule her due date, and I’m sure that you were the last person on her mind when she conceived. 😉

Post # 10
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would move it up and not back. Even just a month would be fine. I’m sure most of your deposits would still hold and i’m sure no one would charge you for having it sooner rather than later. then you will also get to celebrate your marriage without having regrets that your waiting for someone else’s special day to get here first. You deserve to celebrate your day without regrets! Move it one month sooner I vote!!

Post # 11
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Gosh, that’s tough and I can see why you’d be so disappointed.  Is it still possible to move your wedding date since it was just decided about a month ago?  I only ask because if I were in your shoes I probably would because I’d want to be there for the birth of my niece/nephew. 

Post # 12
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@LGenz:even if a lot more had been done, it would probably be worth moving the date. yeah, you would waste money ordering new invitations, but if you don’t you would make your parents choose between your wedding and their first grandchild, and that would be NO good.

Post # 13
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sure you are disappointed, but I’m also sure your sister didn’t have sex on that precise date and time her ovulation to ensure your wedding got changed. It takes most women around 6 months to get pregnant, so if they were trying, it might have happened sooner or later than they were expecting. They also may have been planning and not told immediate family to avoid the “are you pregnant yet? are you pregnant yet?” questioning. And if it was unplanned, which happens a LOT, then again, out of her control. It isn’t a direct attack on you, and again – babies trump weddings, and yours is still quite a ways off. Would it really be SO hard to just make it a couple months later?

Post # 14
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@retsud: Thanks, I should have read closer. If you’re still 11 months out I think its best just to move the date. If she needs to travel the latest you should make your wedding is at her 7 month mark.

Post # 15
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Trust me if anyone can understand the frustration of having engagement thunder stolen by babies it’s me! So I get it and totally sympathise with your situation. But I still recommend that you be the bigger person and change your date. Don’t let her totally off the hook for it, make a big deal about it. A big announcement to the family. Make sure everyone understands that it was a big deal, but you are doing it to make things easier for everyoen, because you are so happy for and supportive of your sister!

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