Post # 17
This is a tough one and I can see why you would be upset. I would be too! If I were you though I would move the date just to prevent any drama on your wedding. That is the last thing you want. But like others have said before, move the date UP a few weeks. Get down that aisle sooner and enjoy everything the day is. If you move it back you risk people swooning over the newborn at YOUR wedding which would make you feel even worse about the situation. Make sure it is YOUR day. Not hers.
Post # 18
If she’s only 3 weeks along – has she been to the doctor? Chance are she could be due later than she thinks and even then she could deliver later. I’d get some more details but also consider moving the date by a few weeks just in case.
I seriously doubt that she did it on purpose – most couples know it can take a while to conceive so I’m sure she thought it would take them longer than it did.
Post # 19
Wow – this is a subject that hits really close to home. I am extremely close to my brother’s wife. We refer to each other as “sister”, never “in law”, and she was the maid of honor in my wedding. I got engaged in October of 2009, and we found out she was pregnant in January of this year. They had begun fertility in October and the docs told them it would take 4-5 months of treatment for conception on this particular type of fertility, which would be perfect because then she would have been 4-5 months pregnant at our wedding. However, she must have conceived either right before beginning the fertility treatments or at the very beginning, because now her due date was on my wedding day – 9/25/10. Of course I was thrilled that after trying so hard, my brother and she were pregnant, but being in the midst of wedding planning I thought about all of the things you are thinking (we had already booked our venue, dj, and florist in November – 2 months before we found out she was pregnant). My first reaction was to change the date. My fiance was reluctant to do that, but he knew how important it was that my brother and Maid/Matron of Honor be at my wedding, so he was willing to do that. My family, however, including she and my brother, all talked me out of that. She said that no matter what, unless she was actually delivering the baby at that time, she would be there. So we kind of joked about the baby coming during the ceremony and stuff like that, but then we kept going forward with our original wedding date and their due date. She picked out a maternity Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and everything. Well…she lost the baby at the end of February, almost 4 months along. We were all completely devastated. She had just passed the first trimester and was starting to tell everyone, for her birthday my brother got her one of those specialty cakes with a baby theme…it was terrible. So now I was left feeling that my wedding day was going to be a horrible reminder of what had happened, and how they should be happy and having a baby at that time. I’m so happy to say that they did get pregnant again, and my sister was 4 and a half months pregnant at my wedding. The pregnancy is going really well so far, and the baby is due on Valentine’s Day. Sorry for such a long post…but my point is, don’t feel like you have to change your date…life is going to throw curves at you, and you just have to hope for the best. No matter how excited your parents are to be grandparents, nothing is going to overshadow the joy that they have for you on your wedding day.
Post # 20
I still vote to move it up a few weeks. I think you’ll regret moving it back. When the baby is born you won’t be as happy as youl could be if you were already married..! JMO
Post # 21
It’s not perfect timing…i’d change my wedding date for my sister. =
Post # 22
@theresa1078: Thank you very much. I am happy that they have concieved again. I know that I want my sister and the baby to be healthy and have a safe delivery. I live on the West Coast and she lives on the East Coast. That is why it is more troublesome she should not be to far from her doctor to close to the due date. She has only told immediate family, but I would not like to add any stress for those purposes and decided to quickly make the changes.
Post # 23
@omalley13: I didn’t realize there was a distance involved. That definitely makes it harder. I’m glad that you were able to make the changes. It wouldn’t have been too easy for me since we had a short engagement to begin with and were lucky to get a date at our venue. Plus she and my brother live only 2-3 miles from us. I wish you and your sister all the best. Congrats on becoming a soon to be aunt!