- 6 years ago
I’m 28, in a serious relationship, and I’ve been having baby fever as well as engagement fever for a few years now. It doesn’t help now that my closest friend is expecting a boy in May. I’m really excited for her, especially considering that her first child was lost last year due to a miscarriage And it’s better this time around, because she has a stable man in her life who is willing to help raise the baby and is excited about it too. I couldn’t be happier for her, even if I am a little jealous. (Just the idea of having a baby, but I know that wouldn’t be the best thing in my life right now)
I told her once I found out that I would throw her a baby shower, and I plan on doing everything myself. I’ve given her baby books, I told her I would help with her registry and going clothes shopping. I just can’t help but feel like maybe I’m a bit too excited? I don’t know if her other friend has offered to help as well. I also can’t help but feel jealous every time one of our co workers or her friend who just became a mom, they offer parenting or other advice about labor, etc on FB. We used to share so much when we were both single, and then in relationships, and now she has something I can’t relate to, and I try based on my own experience from reading tons of books or things my mom has passed down to me, but I know it’s not the same. I just don’t want to be left out of the loop because the closest thing I have to a baby is my little teacup poodle.
In all honesty, I know part of the reason I’m being so gung ho about this baby planning with her is because I knew about her miscarriage, and I was too wrapped up in my new relationship to really offer her the support she needed. She did push people away, but I know I could have tried harder. We did talk more in depth about it, and she said she never blamed or was upset with me, but I still feel upset with myself and how I chose to act. So this is also a part of my apology to her. Is this selfish of me? Should I back off of the planning a little bit? Or should I just continue to offer my support as I have been? I just don’t want to be overbearing to her, she’s too nice to tell someone so