(Closed) Baby fever but I'm worried it's too soon (sad rant)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
3067 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Ruby-Redshoes:  The nice thing about your situation is that you are young so you can wait a little bit! It sounds like you want to experience life with your hubby first for  bit- totally normal and A-OK! You can have baby fever and not act on it right away 🙂

Having children is such a big commitment and you cannot take it back! I would push back having kids if I felt the same way you do- maybe just by a year. You need to be ready! 

We talk about TTC 4 months after our wedding. Some days I have major baby fever and other days I think I might want to wait another year. I am just going to really enjoy this child free year and if I want to extend it, I will! I will be 26 when we get married so ( i like to think) I have some time ( if i decide I want it)

Post # 18
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Hired hall

I think the fact that you are considering all this is actually very mature of you. I have two kids, I am 26, and I regret absolutely nothing and I would do nothing differently, but that is what works for me. I think that if you are worried, you should sit down and tell your SO and push the timeline back a bit- as PP’s said, there is no right time to have a baby, but there are definite wrong times, and while it is absolutely normal to be a little unsure, and a little scared, I think if you are this worried then it is best to wait. Enjoy being your age, travelling the world, and getting to do all the fantastic things that people with kids can’t do! I’m planning on doing these things after my kids are grown and moved out, but if you don’t need to wait, then don’t! Carpe Diem 🙂 

Post # 20
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you are not 100 percent on board, wait for a while.  You are so young.  If you were 10 years older, my advice would be different.  Smile  I had my baby at 26 and even though she was 100 percent planned and wanted, the next few years were a blur because, let’s face it, it’s a big lifestyle change having children. 

Post # 21
Member
3507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
@mckey430:  +100000

Post # 22
Member
3507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
@mckey430:  +100000

Post # 23
Member
9800 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you are unsure, I would wait!  You are so young, there is no rush!  If you were 10 years older I’d tell you to go for it and everything will work out but that’s not the case here.  Babies will always be there when you are ready for them, but your 20s won’t!!  Delaying TTC by a few years will not make a difference at this age, and you can get some of the things done you want to before having a baby.

This is coming from someone who didn’t want kids until 30, not matter how financially and emotionally stable/prepared I was before then…I was going to selfishly enjoy my 20s.

Post # 24
Member
2036 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@Ruby-Redshoes:  No offense taken!  Thanks for the apology!

I only apologize because I’m assuming you called me ‘condesending’ because your feelings were hurt by my response, which I’m still sorry for.

To answer your question-I waited and No Regrets!! 

Post # 25
Member
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Ruby-Redshoes:  We were putting it off until fall, but, come June, we were like, “Why?” We have everything set. Why did we need to wait? What more did we want to accomplish?

In your case I see it both ways. If you are unsure, I would wait. But on the flip side of things babies never come at a convenient time. In my case, had we waited, we’d be finding so many things that it would interfere with, and why put making a family on hold because of other people’s events? Same with travelling. We can still do all of those things 🙂

Post # 27
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Ruby-Redshoes:  If you are nervous on circumstances changing why would it be better if you already had a kid? 

I think there is never a perfect time to have children, but having said that if you are having doubts I’d wait. I don’t think there is a huge difference between having a kid at 25 or 27-28 but there is a difference between having a baby after having travelled a bit/had fun/adjusted to married life as opposed to having a baby and regeretting not doing those things. 

 

Post # 28
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

I think you’re being too black and white about this. You’re young and you have time. You can either have a kid now or have one later– there will be good and bad things about either decision you make and neither path is right or wrong. 

That said, there’s no reason your HAVE to have a baby soon. I think that’s the baby fever talking. I’ve actually decided NOT to have children, but I’ve dealt with the screaming hormones all the same, and they will make you crazy! If I was the kind of person who wanted to have kids I probably would have been having the same freakout when I was 23 and they were at their worst!

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