Post # 1
I think too much… I don’t know if i’ll ever be “ready”… but i’ve got the baby fever again. My friend has a 2 month old baby girl… my sister has a 5 month old boy… my cousin has a 5 month old baby girl….my other sister is due next month with a girl… another friend is pregnant. BABIES ARE EVERYWHERE! LOL
I had baby fever bad before we were married when everyone was pregnant…at which point we said we’d try in fall (aka now) which ofcourse we’re not. We got married in June and just after the wedding we changed our mind and Darling Husband said december/january and I said eh maybe march… but now yesterday I told him I might be on board for january . Darling Husband came home last night to baby everything searches on the computer because i’m like planning baby room colors, layouts, furniture, everything. What is with me!
Financially? – We’re broke. We have medical bills coming out our ears, I promised myself I would have our credit cards paid off before we got pregnant. We still have about 3k on them. Hopefully we can get rid of them in February but who knows at this point. But after that we should be able to save up enough in 9 months to be able to afford a baby… But ofcourse I’m still waiting to see what my new healthcare cost will be and everyones i hear is doubling or tripling… in which case we’ll be able to afford a baby- errr- never.
Darling Husband is 28 so he’s like settt on January or Feb LATEST.
I am so torn! I don’t know what I want anymore… but if we are thinking january… i should be going off the pill now. I dont know… I guess i just wanted to vent my confusion since i can’t talk to anyone about this except my husband. No one knows we’re even thinking about trying. I’ve always said a few years after the wedding.
Did this happen to anyone else?
Post # 3
We’re waiting till after our late honeymoon to start trying, but that’s because I want to be able to drink without worrying. We’re also hoping we can time my pregnancy so that I can leave school a few months early and have time with the baby before returning the next year. BUT…I will say that we are financially prepared for a baby. If you’re not, it doesn’t make sense to have one…
Post # 4
@Kate0558: wait until you are more financially prepared. THere is no right time to have a child, and you’ll never feel like you’re prepared enough, but not being in debt will definitely help you feel more secure and less stressed.
Post # 5
I’ve had baby fever for like 2 years and now I also feel like literally everyone around us is pregnant. I really wish I didn’t have it and I get really emotional sometimes because I know it won’t happen for awhile. We bought a house this past summer, Fiance graduates in Decemeber and has a great job lined up, I graduate in May and will be starting grad school full time in June. We are trying to decide if we will TTC during my second year of grad school or if we will wait until after I finish and get a full time job but will take leave soon into my job. We have the finances currently, no debt besides minimal house payments, and my mom will be full time free child care so just waiting it out sucks. I see so many people in much worse situations make it through so I know we could but I know it’s better to wait. I believe no one can be 100% ready and there is no perfect timing, but being able to spend time with the baby and not stressed financially is very important.
Post # 6
@Kate0558: We knew we wanted to have a house and dog before we started trying. We accomplished both by June. Our tentative month to start was October, and we were pretty set on that.
But then in June we were kind of like, “What are we seriously waiting for?” There is no perfect time, and no matter what the trip we were supposed to take in June will be a non-issue because I will either be too pregnant to go or have a new born and still can’t go (plus to put starting a family on hold for a trip was ridiculous to us).
So we started. We were successful in July. Yes, we accomplushed what we wanted to do, but we also weren’t hard up for money either. We have a house payment and now a pickup payment (we had to trade the car in). Otherwiose, all student loans are paid, no credit card debt, and no other outstanding large bills.
You have to ensure you can provide for the child. Granted, a child’s “things” won’t be expensive for a while, but food, medical bills, daycare, etc can drain your savings pretty quick. We weren’t like, “Oh we have 20k. That means we have a perfect amount saved to start a family.” I don’t believe you need to have X amount of dollars to start, but I do believe you need to be able to afford your baby and provide for it, and if you are struggling with bills, this may just not be the right time.
Post # 7
Darling Husband wants to be married at least a year. I say…bull shit. We have been living together for 4 years and are financially stable. Why the hell should we wait? So i’m hoping after our late honeymoon we will try, OR on our honeymoon… So that leaves 4 months left.
Post # 8
Darling Husband told me after we’d been dating about a month “You know, having a child wouldn’t ruin my life. I don’t necessarily want one right now, but I could afford it” (He MUCH later told me that was his hint that he makes an ASSLOAD of money)
Then after proposing, he looked at me and said “I want to put a baby in you on the wedding night.”
So we started TTC on our wedding night, and got pregnant first cycle!
But I was REALLY lucky. He’d been saving for YEARS anticipating that he’d eventually get married, and immediately get pregnant and buy a house. So he was financially set before we even met!
Post # 9
Yeah, more or less. We’ve been married for a year and a half and about three months after the wedding the baby rabies hit me hard. It eased off for a little while but now our friends are pumping out kids like it’s their profession and the rabies has returned for both of us. Darling Husband has to graduate in the spring and we’d like to sort out a house (or be close to sorting out a house) before we start trying in earnest. We’re spending this winter paying off debt and saving. I’ve also spent the last year and a half saving HSA funds so all baby-related medical expenses are already saved for and banking as much PTO as possible. We figure we’ll start NTNP in Feb/March and if we got a BFP right away, I’d have enough PTO for a fully paid 12 week mat leave and the full out of pocket expense in our HSA by the time we’d be due. In the meantime, I’m trying to prepare/be as frugal as possible. It feels really good because things are finally falling into place a bit. Once Darling Husband has a job lined up we should be set up financially for the house thing and then, we’re set. It’s hard to be patient though.
Post # 10
@Kate0558: Oh I totally hear you! Baby madness right! So far we know 4 couples that are expecting one due in Feb, March, April and June. They are just coming out of the wood works lately which so doesn’t help my baby fever. We also got married this past June and originally discussed a timeline of TTC the following June that way we have a year of solid savings plus a year to just enjoy married life. I actually fell pg in July and MC in Sept. It was difficult and still is but the baby fever has just intensified. I feel this extra strong desire to be a mother. Waivering between TTC in January or wait until our original time line of June. Those additional 6 months of savings could make a big difference so it make sense to best wait until June BUT I don’t know if I want to wait that long. Darling Husband is down for whichever so I just need to think rationally and go from there. When we found out I was pg in July we immediately paid off all our credit card debt that way we would start our family with a clean slate. It felt so good to know those cards were at 0. I strongly suggest doing this, it really takes that financial pressure off of omg we have to pay our bills, pay down the debt, pay the dr co-payments, pay for the big baby esstenials and try to save all at the same time. It sounds like a lot but it can be done just makes it a lot easier without debt.
Post # 11
Darling Husband and I were 15 when we began dating, and after we graduated high school in 2008, we moved from New Jersey to Indiana together to attend college. We lived in our own home, worked, went to school, and paid our own bills. Six months later, in February of 2009 (both 19 at the time), Darling Husband proposed, and that’s when I came down with baby fever. Both Darling Husband and I were in agreement though… we wanted to be married and financially capable of providing for a family.
After having to postpone a wedding and marriage for a few years due to family issues beyond our control, Darling Husband and I were married in October of 2012. During that time in-between, I watched numerous friends, acquaintances and family members (my younger brother being one) have children. For me, the thought of these people in my life having what I yearned for so badly was like pouring salt in an open wound. So, after Darling Husband and I were married, we immediately began discussing TTC. We decided we were both ready 100%, spent a lot of time looking at finances to determine if having a baby would be feasible, and I went through some exams and testing to make sure I was ready for a pregnancy. Once that was all out of the way we began our journey.
January 1, 2013 is when we began TTC. So far, we haven’t had any luck in starting a family yet. Darling Husband turned 24 on the 5th, and my 24th birthday is this Saturday (the 19th). For a healthy couple our age, it is normal for it to take up to a year to conceive. That dreadful one-year mark will be here soon, and I hope and pray (as I have for a long time) that we are blessed with a healthy child soon (preferably before then). Boy, I will tell you, it has been super frustrating to watch so many people have such ease in getting pregnant, while it takes much longer for us, but nevertheless I hold on to a hope that two will soon make three.
So, in your situation, I would really think everything over. Make sure you both are completely ready to start a family and devise a plan for your financial well-being (set achievable goals). I cannot speak on whether or not you should go off birth control now or a bit later (I was never on BC), but definitely do some exams before TTC to make sure you are physically ready (if you haven’t already). I hope this is helpful, and I wish you the best in whatever you decide!
Post # 12
I want to wait until my 30th bday… I want to do or go someplace nice and try on that trip o weekend (which is when in the month I have to… so that I can have the baby withing my 30th yr… My bday’s in early March so we would plan to have a late november or december baby… OK with us 🙂
No new babies around me… I do get baby fever every once in a while… but then it wears off…
Post # 13
@Kate0558: Definitely have your finances as much in order as you can before you start trying. Sometimes, pregnancies happen when you’re not trying, and so there’s no time to prepare financially. But if you are able to plan ahead, I’d definitely say go in with a the best financial footing you can. I think your idea of paying off your credit card debt first is a great plan. Also beware of any other expenses that might be lurking out there but aren’t top of your mind right now – like home or car repairs that you’ve been putting off.
To answer your question about how we decided…it took a LOT of discussion, lol! When we got engaged, we talked family, and we both were a little uncertain of whether we wanted kids or not. Closer to/after the wedding, we decided we were both on board to have one child, but deciding when to try for said child? That was interesting. Fortunately, our finances have been pretty solid, so that didn’t factor in too much. I was pretty much ready to go this time last year (about one year after we got married), but Darling Husband wanted to wait because we had just taken on a huge project for work, and it was stressful as hell. When that stress started to ease this spring, I brought it up again, and this summer, we decided to start trying in October. We’re in our first TTC cycle now. 🙂
So yeah, for us it took just a lot of conversations, and a bit more time to both get on the same page. 🙂
Post # 14
We started trying after his grandpa died. Grieving together and helping his family showed me I was ready for anything. And losing family let us realize we needed to restock a little so we wouldn’t die totally alone. Plus I think everyone hurting deserves some good news. Conceiving at 30 was lengthy, though, so don’t ignore the clock too long.
Post # 15
Once we were financially and emotionally set and bought our first home together we were both ready!
Post # 16
We wanted to wait until we’d been married for a little while, and until we could figure out how to work child care after I go back to work. (DH now has a job that will most likely be flexible about his hours, allowing him to stay at home with the baby after my maternity leave is up.)
I think in DH’s ideal world, we would wait until our first anniversary to TTC, but I’m about to turn 33, he’s about to turn 38 and the clock is ticking… so we’re going to start TTC this month! We’re taking one last “whoo hoo, we don’t have kids!” trip to New Orleans in a couple days, and after I’ve gotten the raw oysters and gallons of cocktails out of my system for the next nine months… it’s go time!
We aren’t waiting until we’re entirely out of debt (we both have a very small amount of consumer debt and I have student loans up the wazoo) but we did want to make sure we wouldn’t be scrambling to pay daycare bills or survive on only one income. We’ll have to be careful about buying the necessities on the cheaper side – IKEA crib, here we come! – but we aren’t waiting until we’re in the PERFECT financial situation, either. It’s just a balance, I guess.