(Closed) Baby Fever – TTC are we ready or being influenced by current circumstances?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Opinions?

    Feeling this way is normal after marriage, wait it out the feelings will pass!

    Stay in your current job, save and TTC in 2 years

    Find another job and reevaluate your circumstances then

  • Post # 2
    Member
    619 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    x-infinity-x:  congrats on the recent wedding! 

    my take on the deal is that once you decide to be a parent, you don’t ever get to not be a parent again. Until you are super duper sure that you and you DH are ready for a baby, I would just relax, travel, pay off your debt and see what else life throws at you. 

    Best of luck!

    Post # 3
    Member
    7305 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Well obviously TTC right niw is not an option, as your DH is not onboard with that. I think he’s offered a reasonable compromise of TTC in 2 years or so, which is a significant advance of the original timeline. So what can you do in the next 2 years to make them awesome years and get yourself in the best possible place to TTC? Maybe that is a job change. Or maybe it’s achieving savings goals, travel goals, health goals, hobby-related gfoals, or anything else you can imagine. Enjoy your marriage. Enjoy this time as a twosome. TTC will still be there in 2 years when your DH is ready and has achieved some of his own goals.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    x-infinity-x:  I totally get where you are coming from! I didn’t want to have kids previously, but that might have been because I never really interacted with kids that I liked from younger generations. Plus, I am huge into traveling and furthering my education, so I didn’t see how I could achieve everything at the same time. Now, we are looking at paying off all our debts in the next two years, and then saving for a house. My DH didn’t even want to consider making a decision until 30, but now that we are getting closer to “checking all the boxes”, we don’t know where we are! 

    I would say that since you are young (so am I), that you should enjoy the next two years childfree. Since you are going to be out of debt, you can really put that money into having big blowout adventures and seeing the world before settling down. I am not saying you can’t do things like that when you have kids, it just changes and complicates the logistics. 

    Every time I get all baby feverish, I just remind myself how good it will feel to be able to put several thousand dollars a month to retirement, a new house, and baby without batting an eye. If we wanted to go on a trip, no problem! I am just going to take that time and really enjoy living the financially independent life! 

    ETA: If  you aren’t really into traveling, let those 2-3 years be the guilt free years of your DH pursuing his music without being away from the family!

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by  MooseMeese11.
    Post # 7
    Member
    1770 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    If your DH wants six kids then you should start within the next two years.

    Post # 9
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I think once your feeling ready, its not going to move backwards to you feeling not ready. I would see how you feel the next few months, and if you are still feeling like you will be ready next year than go for it! Especially if you already have a house, jobs, will be out of debt, and want multiple kids. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    x-infinity-x:  Haha, I cracked up with your back and forth about the number of kids thing. It reminds me so much of my DH. He used to keep insisting on waiting until mid- and late- thirties, but I was like “hell no! my body is already going to take a beating, we aren’t putting it under that much more pressure!”. It sounds like you two have a good thing worked out, you get to try earlier for babies, and he gets a few years of travel and pursuing his music. Maybe, if he is really set on that, he will give up the 6 kids thing and recognize that putting it off for a few more years will likely mean you aren’t going to have 6 kids unless you are able to have them back to back. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2573 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Six kids! Holy shit. If he really wants that many then I think that the sooner you start the better. That way you can space them out a little instead of being constantly pregnant from ages 30-40. Otherwise, if you guys can agree on 2 or 3 then waiting another 2-3 years seems reasonable to me. I don’t really think it’s fair for him to put it off so he can do music and still expect you to produce that many kids. He can’t have it all… 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    View original reply
    x-infinity-x:  I’m currently pregnant and I had serious baby fever since meeting my hubby, so 3 years of non-stop fever.. it doesn’t go away! But I’m glad I waited until I’m 28. 6 pregnancies is a big deal though and probably not very realistic… this one has been hard enough so far for me.. it’ll take a lot of forgetting to get over this one to even face a second tbh.

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