(Closed) Baby fever – why are you NOT having a baby now?

posted 10 years ago in Babies
Post # 77
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@shellzbellz:  It doesnt sound selfish at all! You sound like us in a way…finances would be ok, we have a house, we will be married in less than 2 months, so if it happened in the next year it would make sense/be ok, but…we just dont want to yet! If something happened by accident we would be fine, but I know we enjoy our time together. I want to start and finish grad school, first. I laughed about the kittens, because my dog totally puts my baby fever in check. The other day I picked him up and he puked down my shirt – that was enough baby-like behavior for me!

Post # 78
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Was reading Motherhood, WTF? and the blogger posted this. Haha, it helped my baby fever a little bit, but only slightly!

Post # 79
772 posts
Busy bee

we are baby free and here are just some of the many reasons:

-we want to travel a lot and go on many vacations together before something ties us down

-want to own a home prior to having kids

– enjoy the company of just us without having to put someone else as first priority

– I would want to be able to give them the best without having to think about money so much (FI is a new attorney so he needs to put in a few years establishing his career)

-we love our life as is and don’t feel the need for any 180 degree changes

Post # 80
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Fiance is getting ants in his pants, but I think its another 4-5 years away.

  • We dont have our own house yet – Australian housing and cost of living is through the freaken roof, its gonna take a while before we can do it on one income. He needs to work on his career more and we need to save a substantial deposit to reduce the potential mortgage costs.
  • We want to travel more – we have another trip to Europe planned in 18 months along with smaller trips to Bali and Malaysia thrown in there. I can do it whilst pregnant but if I had the money I would rather use it for the house/baby

We worked it out and based on our incomes right now to do all this it would take about 4 years (5 by the time we actually have the baby). If our money goes up in that time, it may be a faster process, but not by much :(. Looks like my dreams of being done with kids by 30 wont be happening any time soon!

Post # 81
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This goes against the grain a bit, but I firmly believe that having a baby is the single most selfish thing a person can do. You dont need a baby, your potential future baby doesnt need to be born, this planet doesnt need more people… you do it purely and simply because you WANT to.

Not having them because you are enjoying the status quo is no nearly as selfish as actually having a baby!

EDIT: this was in reply to shellzbellz, I thought I hit the reply button! Fail, lol

Post # 82
44 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance and I are currently working on our Master’s degree’s so we need to wait until we graduate and have paid off student loans before we can think about having children. Financial security is important, and becuase I have a medical condition that means if I can carry a pregnancy at all the chances of a preterm labor are increased, we will be taking into account the potential financial impact a complicated birth will bring as well as the possibility that I will need a longer maternity leave than normal. Long story short, we will not TTC until we are able to financially (and emotionally) support the worst outcome.

Post # 83
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My husband is not ready yet. He has been telling me he wants to wait a year or two but I am REALLY hoping it will be less than that.

Post # 84
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

1. The big one…We are not married yet, but have been together for almost 7 years. My health insurance plan is the best I have ever had and if we get married I would have to go under my fiance’s because I would not qualify based on our “combined” income. So, we are thinking if we do get pregnant that is great, if we don’t we don’t and will not be disappointed.

2. I love my body, sounds a bit heady, but I don’t want it to change right now. I don’t want to turn my body into a home yet… but if it happens I am sure I will embrace it fully.

3. Again, my health insurance – I can not state enough how great it is – if I was to get pregnant nearly everything would be covered, if I were to get married the cost of having a baby would go from around $1,000 to over $10,000.

4. I need to have a mandatory C-section – because I have some major back problems – and have had a spinal fusion and 2 other back surgeries prior to that. Just really worried my back will not hold up very well – so major health concerns there.

5. Would probably have to be on bed rest for a long time, and I have a lot of energy. I have always wanted to have time to write a childrens book and illustrate it, but not sure how I will be comfortable enough to do that while pregnant, but maybe that is my calling – to be an author and illustrator.

6. I am usually a very positive person – have some anxiety in my life that I do take a pill for everyday and wonder if I would have to stop taking that? It helps keep me even keel. Just a weird concern, but a legit one.

7. I love my freedom!!!

8. Scared of C-section!!!!

**Fiance really wants a baby though, really bad. He is in full-on baby talking, baby names picked out already, talks about future son/daughter and how our work schedules would fit perfectly for a newborn right now and how he wants to keep his hours the same to help take care of new baby during my work hours. I think this is really great. He is 33, I am 31. I had baby fever (major baby fever) at 26-27 yrs. old and he was like, “No way” and now he has baby fever and I am like, “—ugh… maybe..” The tables have almost reversed.

Post # 85
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Baby fever here, too!!

Not having one now because…

1) I graduate pharmacy school in less than 6 months, then need to take my boards

2) I would like to find a job with said pharmacy degree, even if it’s part-time or PRN

3) I’d like to make some money with said job so that we can finish some house projects, pay off a small student loan, buy a bigger vehicle, and build up our “nest egg”

It would also be nice to take one more big vacation together before having a baby, but I wouldn’t say that’s a reason NOT to have one. I would definitely not be too upset to get pregnant within the next year 😉 

Post # 86
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

Only thing is that we’re not married yet and I want to rock an awesome dress! I’m definitely OLD enough (sheesh)…

I have a guest room in my house that I keep referring to as “the baby room”. “Oh I will have to move this out… she/he wouldn’t want all my stuff in their room… etc” Definitely baby crazy.

Post # 87
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

  • We aren’t married.
  • We don’t live in the same city.
  • We’re still in school.
  • We don’t have jobs. 
  • With my foot the way it is, I’m not sure I could walk around all day being pregnant with all the extra weight. Also, I take pills for the pain regularly and               narcotics + baby = 🙁

Heh. We both have baby fever like crazy though!

Post # 88
1886 posts
Buzzing bee

Have baby fever like crazy too! But we can’t have a baby right now because: 

  • We don’t live in the same city


  • We don’t have jobs 


  • Both of us are going to school


  • We’re too young (both of us are 23)


  • We’re not married 


Post # 89
13 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’ve been broody since before I met h2b, but it got particularly bad just over a year ago when our nephew was born. But..

1. I’m still in uni, and I want to finish that before we have a baby (only a few more months, though)

2. Only half a year after uni is over we will get married, and I don’t fancy being pregnant on our wedding day. Bring on the wedding night 😉

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