(Closed) Baby? I thought my clock stopped!

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Well, what’s the answer you are 99% sure about? Yes or no?

We can go from there.

Post # 4
1841 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Oh girl. We had that same discussion a couple of years ago (I am 43 and Fiance will be 43 in December). We decided that was a definite NO. my DS and his Dear Daughter are both grown and out of the house. We decided to be selfish and focus on us. 

Post # 5
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Other than the possible complications for the baby (and for you) I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a baby later in life. You just have to decide if you’re okay with the idea that they won’t get out of high school until you’re in your 60s!

Post # 6
1285 posts
Bumble bee

Fiance and I are both 39, both have children. We both know we don’t want kids and are very stern on that.  It would be nice to have one between us, but i know 100% that I’m done having kids. I knew that while I was pregnant with my last child with my xDH.  I had my tubes tied about a year ago.  Like another PP said, we wanto be selfish and want it to be just about us when our kids aren’t around and are with their other parents.

Post # 7
893 posts
Busy bee

Follow your heart. Will you regret that you did not try for another or will you regret being an “older” parent? Only you can decide. I am AMA, advanced maternal age pregnancy, in my 7th month. This was a complete surprise to us – we already have a 13 and 11 year old.  We thought we were done having kids for many, many reasons. Well life had other plans for us. Is it shocking – heck yes. Are there days that I panic about being an older mom – heck yes, more than I want to admit. But here’s the positive side. There are no guarantees in life that if you have a baby at 21 that you will be around to see your child graduate from college. The odds are certainly in your favor but no guarantees. Many studies show that kids born to older parents have some distinct advantages largely due to the increased financial and increased time offerings that older parents are able to provide because they are already established in their careers. This is not intended to be a slight at younger parents – parenting is hard at any age and I admire all of the sacrifices all parents make.  As I think of what I can provide this child with because I am financially established and have flexibility in my career, I am very grateful. Because I have already half raised two kids, there is an acquired wisdom and perspective that makes me a lot more rational and laid back this time around in terms of my parenting style.  My pregnancy has been complication free, healthy and because I’m in a different place financially, we’re able to enjoy it more. Going on a babymoon, hiring a decorator for the nursery, going to NYC this weekend for a Rosie Pope maternity clothes spree, hiring a sanity sitter and fitness trainer post birth, etc. Yes, being an older parent has some drawbacks but there are also some benefits. I think the greatest gift that this child will receive is our love, regardless of our age and our life experience will be an added benefit. Best wishes as you follow your heart!

Post # 9
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply

Do what you want! The risks are higher, but you realize that. But if you you would like a baby and your husband would then I think you and him should decide what is best for you.

My husband was an accident when his mom was 41 and his dad was 50. His parents do seem fairly old to me (more like my grandparents age) and he didn’t really get to know him grandparents since they passed away when he was fairly young. It’s funny, at family gatherings his parents seem to click really well with my grandparents (rather than parents) since they are the same age! But overall, it does not matter. His parents are wonderful and then being older did not impact him negatively in any way. His dad actually retired when he was around ten so they had lots of time to spend together and could take lots of camping trips in the summer! 

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