Post # 16
pinkshoes : Aw congratulaitons! His little fingers are adorable <3
As far as the not sleeping at night, that sounds about normal to me. They get their days and nights mixed up when they’re that little sometimes. We didn’t bring DS home until he was 2 weeks old, but after that I mostly napped during the day when he was sleeping to make up for the lack of sleep at night. It does get easier. In the moment it feels like forever but then you’ll blink and he’ll be 6 months old. I second the reccomendation to check about acid reflux, especially if he’s screaming when he’s laid down flat. DS has HORRIBLE reflux and meds were the only thing that helped. Also if your not BFing you might try chanig formulas. We had to switch to Nutramigin (super expensive :/) for milk allergy and it helped so much.
KittyYogi : Ahh your baby is here too? So happy for you. Congrats! Would love to hear your birth story if you ever feel like sharing it.
Post # 17
My first was sometimes was fussy in the evening (which is normal) but my second was definitely colicy in the evening. He wouldn’t stop crying unless he was on the boob. I think he had some reflux because he would nurse until he puked it all back up ALL over me. I ended up giving up dairy for 6months which made the puking go away. If you are nursing, oversupply can also cause similar symptoms (too much foremilk, not enough fatty hindmilk). I did have an oversupply but I block fed and pumped my extra so I don’t believe that was an issue with mine. Tongue/lip ties can also be a cause. My second was also a terrible sleeper (woke up 2-5x a night until 19months). He was what they call a “high needs baby”, you might look that up. They say they need more of everything…except sleep lol. But at least as he got older the cuteness and interactiveness made up for how frustrating he was at night. Good luck!!
Post # 18
congrats! the first weeks are tough, no doubt. 6 weeks gets better, then 12 weeks gets better. and then it just gets more and more amazing each month. starting at 8m was my favorite.
we spent almost $20k on fertility treatment. those first few weeks, i was so sleep deprived, hormones running rampant, breast feeding was a struggle (and i had a reduction so was already dealing with supply issues) plus my 1st was a premie in the NICU. i thought i had made the biggest mistake of my life and wasted all that time, energy, and money.
but that newborn period doesn’t last long. and i would take it over not having a baby any day.
i suggest reading happiest baby on the block. sushing, swaying, swaddling, sidelying, suck. the 5 S’s. are all things that help baby soothe.
Post # 19
Yay congratulations! I don’t go on the Bee much anymore but I’ve been creepily logging in every few days in hopes of seeing a birth post from you. I’ve been rooting for you for a long time and I’m so happy you have your beautiful baby.
Nights can be rough, that’s for sure. I have a 3 year old and 7 month old and all I can say is that it will pass and you and baby will find your groove eventually. Just enjoy the cuddles as much as you can. Not very helpful advice but really all I got. Congrats again!
Post # 20
Thank you everyone!
MsPlucky : I wish he’d just nurse and go back to sleep, but he likes to be WIDE awake at night or wont fall into a deep sleep or just cries. I’m trying to enjoy this time as much as possible cause I’m sure I’ll miss this tiny little baby when I look back.. but man he makes it hard sometimes!
TheGridMonster : Oh wow! When did your hair and eyes change? I keep hoping that he’ll end up blonde hair blue eyed, but I have a feeling it’ll end up darker too since that’s what happen to all the mixed kids that I know.
camenae : My mom (the more traditional of my parents) hasn’t really been enforcing a full on sitting month. We’ve been out and about a lot. But my mom has been coming over about 3x a week to watch/spend time with the baby and make lots of food. It’s been an amazing relief for both of us to be able to just relax a bit and get other stuff done.
KittyYogi : Oh yes, my mom has saved my sanity coming over 3x a week to relieve us from being “on” all the time. But the night times are just so hard! And then we don’t really get to nap during the day cause there just always seems to be so much to do!
candy08 : thank you! Yes, i’ve already thought many many time ‘omg, he was so much easier when he was inside’ even though I was more physically uncomfortable. But yeah, as so many people here said, i just have to remember it’s a phase and it will be more rewarding soon… hopefully. He;s actually an embryo from my 5th cycle, and we did 3 more after and have 3 more embryos left for more tries in cause he didnt implant and for possible siblings. But now I’m wondering if i can put myself through this phase again! Im almost wishing i’d just transfered after cycle 5, rather than banking more and being one and done… and now I feel kind of obligated to give the other embryos a shot cause the plan was to go for 2 or 3 or untl we use them up, whichever came first. ahhh!
mgbser : Did she want food more often during the day than every 3 hours? He starts fussing around 2 hours and wants to eat during the day, but during the day once he’s fed, he’s happy and sleepy and will fall asleep for a good nap. And at night, once he’s fed, he’s sleepy, but grumpy and fights it!
Post # 21
ajillity81 : I hear you. I stopped counting at 35k (which is a lot, but quite the bargain considering that was for 8 retreivals) and there have been a few times that I wonder if maybe the difficulty conceiving him was the universe telling me something. I feel like I’ve failed at like every step, couldn’t conceive him right, couldnt’ birth him right (I couldn’t push him out and had to have a c), cant’ feed him right (my milk was slow to come in and still low, so we have to supplement).
Post # 22
pinkshoes : Idk, pretty early on! I’ve always been thrilled to have dark hair/eyes because I was always so much closer to my mom and her whole side of the family and wanted to look more like them 🙂
Hahaha I remember reading somewhere here that you wanted 3 kids right when I was in the throes of #newbornlife and was thinking “omg she cray.” I’m still probably one and done, but the thought of one day having another doesn’t seem as terrifying as it once did haha. I’m sure you’ll experience the same.
Post # 23
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
Congratulations! I’ve followed your story during the last few years. So happy you got your happy ever after. We are still TTC (15 months I think but I’ve lost count). Obviously no advice to give but I hope the nights get easier soon!
Post # 24
pinkshoes : As much as the opinion of a stranger counts, please PLEASE cease all thinking about having “failed”! You have gone far above and beyond what so many people could endure to bring him into this world, so you’re already a hero to many of us! Also, the newborn phase is HARD and anybody who claims they never had a “oh crap, did I just blow up my life??” moment is a lying liar who lies. The sleepless nights, the struggles with feeding, the realization that your schedule is totally out of your hands….I remember people telling me it would get better by 3 months and all I could think was “3 F&^5ING MONTHS OF THIS?!” But the change happens so gradually, you adjust without realizing it and then suddenly you are the one telling someone to “cherish the newborn phase” lol. Just take it one day at a time Bee.
Post # 25
Congratulations on your little bundle! What an adorable little hand <3
Post # 26
pinkshoes : Congratulations! I’ve followed your story for a longtime and am so pleased you finally got your gorgeous baby. What you an your husband endured to bring him into the world is incredible, please don’t ever see that as a failure. It is a triumph! You should be incredible proud of yourselves that you made it through such a difficult time.
Most babies have days and nights messed up. It’s hard but they get there in the end. Just try and keep the lights low and your voice quiet during the night so he doesn’t get too stimulated, though that’s not always easy. I know everyone says it but it really does pass quickly try and make the most of those night time cuddles and just let some of the chores slide so you can get some rest. I found audiobooks and podcasts really helpful so I could stay awake and entertained but keep the room dark.
Also, allow yourself some days off where you just sit and watch Netflix, cuddle that gorgeous boy and do nothing else and don’t have any visitors unless they are coming to bring you food and you’re happy for them to see you in your pjs. It might pass quickly in hindsight but when you’re in the thick of the newborn haze it can be hard, it’s totally exhausting, you want to cry whether you feel happy or sad and your body hurts! So he kind to yourself.
If you’re having any issues breastfeeding there are a couple of groups I’m in on Facebook, private breastfeeding and beyond and extended breastfeeding support that are really helpful. They are private groups but full of experienced lactation consultants and nursing mums who give amazing non judgemental advice and support.
Post # 27
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
Aww congrats! What an exciting time <3
Post # 28
And any mother who says she never had moments of wondering wtf she’s done, and if having a child was the right choice during the newborn phase is a lying liar. It’s so much more difficult than you can imagine until you’re in it. The plus side is that it does end…but i also know that isn’t very comforting right now.
Post # 29
Aww congratulations! My baby nephew is half Chinese and half white and he has dark hair but bright blue/green eyes! The sleep does get better. One month was a total turning point for my son. Hang in there!!pinkshoes :
Post # 30
pinkshoes : Don’t feel like you’ve failed! We’ve all been there, anyone who says they haven’t is lying. There are moments I look at my son and go “Shit, what did I do?” Like when he screams bloody murder at the crunchy paper toy he’s loved since 3 months old, because it crunched too loud. And then he smiles, or giggles, or stands up on his own and is proud of himself and I’m like “THAT’S what I did.” It’s totally normal.
You know, I was told for months that I would miss the baby stage, and I do … but I don’t. I miss the newborn cuddles, because my little guy is too busy to cuddle these days. But the once in a blue moon he snuggles into my neck, it’s like a million times more amazing. I LOVE watching him learn and explore, and knowing he’s doing something when he wants to, versus just “being” (like cuddling).
So, do enjoy, but don’t put so much pressure on yourself to love the newborn phase. I know lots of people who don’t.
You’ll find your groove! Hang in there Momma!