- Mrs Grape
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Well, to one of my aunts, at least. One of her nieces (my cousin) had a baby in September. Unfortunately, since she announced her pregnancy back in January, it’s been all-baby, all the time. I like my cousin a great deal, and her baby is adorable. However, it seems like every time I’m around this aunt, she’s raving about the baby.
This cousin didn’t even finish college or anything and is being praised above all else for having a baby. At our family’s Christmas gathering yesterday, my aunt even said that “The greatest gift to this family, ever, was her having this baby.” Ouch.
Now, I’ve felt intense pressure all my life to get through college, get a degree, make something of myself. I have good grades, of course, but more importantly than that, I’ve worked my ASS off as a writer and have had a good amount of success in that field (without going into too much detail).
And of course, Darling Husband and I JUST got married (like, two weeks ago). But everything has gotten pushed aside in favor of the baby. Even at our wedding reception, said aunt was fussing over the baby and bragging up the baby the entire time. Darling Husband and I felt a little put-off, especially since we don’t really want children.
Forgot to add: at my great-aunt’s funeral (whom I loved dearly–she was like a mother to me), this aunt, in her speech, said, “Auntie held on just to see the baby. That’s the only thing that kept her alive.” I think that’s a little unfair and over the top. It was like a huge slap in the face. My cousin wasn’t close to my great-aunt at all, and it would have been nice to hear something about how Great-Aunt Grape loved the rest of us, too…but all of us who were closest to her got left out in favor of the baby. It was like someone had punched me in the stomach.
I remarked to Darling Husband yesterday, “Christ. All my life, I’ve worked hard, but I guess all I have to do to get her approval is pop out a kid.” Everyone thinks she’s being a little ridiculous (I mean, come on–basically ignoring your other niece at her own wedding because a baby is there? It’s a wedding reception, not a party for the baby…), but unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about it. The first thing she said wasn’t, “Look how beautiful the bride is”–it was, “Oh, look how beautiful the baby is in her little outfit!” She didn’t even really notice me on that day. And even when the baby isn’t there, my aunt is talking about her. That’s not an exaggeration–she will talk about her at the slightest provocation.
Oh, and then there’s the little “You’ll change your mind about having kids!” remarks that inevitably come up. It sucks. Not only would having a child anytime soon be incredibly irresponsible, Darling Husband and I have had to come to terms with the fact that because of my various health problems, having a child of our own would actually be dangerous.
I just needed to vent, Bees. This is horrifically unfair, imo, but I guess all I can do is hope that her obsession will die down a little once the baby’s a little older…but my god, to have to endure years of this is unthinkable. Not even my grandma (this is her first great-grandchild) is this gung-ho about the baby.
ETA: Wanted to add that the problem isn’t that there is a baby (she’s adorable and I’m very, very happy for my cousin and her hubby)–it’s one aunt’s reaction to her.