- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
I’m really hesitant to post anything here about this, because it’s almost kind of embarassing to me that I have to deal with issues like this. But I really need some advice, and I thought maybe someone else on here might have some insight. 🙂
About four years ago, my fiance was engaged for one week to a girl that he had been dating for several years, all through college. They were only engaged for a week because he discovered that she had been cheating on him. They split up, she was pregnant, and they now have a 3.5 year old daughter.
They have a 50/50 custody arrangement and his daughter lives with us every other week. Although obviously I’m not trying to be her mommy, I’ve tried to be as involved as I can, and my fiance is very encouraging of that. Especially since he realizes that her mother is not the best role model for her. She just makes very bad decisions for herself, seems to have no common sense as a parent, and is very emotionally unstable.
So for the past year and a half that he and I have been together, his ex has lived with her boyfriend about an hour away from us. We were never happy with that situation, since her boyfriend was unemployed, had a drinking problem, and kept breaking up with her every few weeks. Then apparently she found out he was cheating on her, so they split up and he moved out of their house. This is when the current problems started.
Ever since her relationship ended, this girl’s behavior towards my fiance has been making me VERY uncomfortable. Every time she talks to him, she starts screaming about how he doesn’t care about HER and only cares about ME and his “new family.” Which is absolutely correct — he doesn’t care about her at all, he only cares about his daughter, and obviously that is the only reason he has any contact with her at all. Then she started telling him that she’s going to move closer to where we live. Now, if she was doing this for the sake of her child, that would be fine. But we know her well enough to know that’s not her motivation.
Based on everything that this girl has said and done recently, it really seems that she doesn’t understand that she is not entitled to ANY kind of attention from my fiance. That she is NOT a part of his life anymore, except where his daughter is concerned. And since this wasn’t a problem until her last relationship ended, I guess it’s just a jealousy thing, and my fiance agrees with that. He says he thinks she’s just very unhappy with her life and the choices she’s made, but he doesn’t think there’s anything he can do to make her stop acting this way. I really wish he could though! It just gives me this really icky, uncomfortable feeling inside, knowing that this girl thinks she still has some kind of “claim” to him. Know what I mean?
I also wish I could actually MEET this girl at some point, just to try to clear the air a bit and not have all this drama, but she still refuses to meet me. (Even though I’m about to be her daughter’s stepmother… that’s just so ridiculous to me.)
So yeah. I don’t know what to do. Do I just keep trying to not let myself be bothered by this? 🙁