(Closed) Baby Mama Drama (venting)

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Why can’t he go twice?  I’m sure he’ll be just as excited both times.

I understand why you might be upset but just be a duck and think about how much fun he’ll have with you guys

Post # 4
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

Ouch. I can totally see why you are upset. I imagine that your planned trip made her feel inadequate and jealous that you could take him and not her, hence her announcement that she was going with him. I don’t have children, but I’d bet that a 4 year old would love a trip to Disney…and love 2 trips even more!

Yes, she has gone about this in the wrong way, but at the end of it all, you’ll have a little boy who gets two great holidays with people that love him. Win-win. x

Post # 5
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

@accorn – lol, just beat me to it!

Post # 6
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

She should have handled it differently. I understand wanting to be there for “first” moments. Disney is a huge deal. She should have taken your FI’s offer to come along with you so she didn’t have to miss this first moment.

My daughters father and I are the same way. We ask each other if we have been to certain places with her yet. Like he wanted to take her to her first amusement park a few years back and I hadn’t the chance to take her myself. So we decided to go together with her.

I would def have your Fiance talk to her about what she’s doing and how it’s making you both feel.

Post # 7
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I know everyone is saying he can still go twice, but I think going to disney twice in the same year is a bit much. She really shouldnt have done that, I would be irritated too!

Post # 8
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mwitter80: ummmmm…. it IS her son.  Admittedly, it would’ve been better if all of you could have gone together to celebrate the child’s birthday, but if she and her ex- aren’t on the best of terms (no offense, you didn’t mention anything about their relationship), I can see where it would be an issue.

I can see her side, but I can also see YOUR side.  I’m sorry she’s doing it this way and I hope that you guys can do something else, just as exciting, for him.  

((((HUGS))))

at least you know to NOT mention things like this so far in advance the next time.  (Sea World, anyone? 😉 unless he wouldn’t like it….).  Maybe just mention “we’re taking him to Florida to the beach” or something like that…. (oooooh, San Diego Zoo!!!!!)

Post # 9
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

Been there. On my birthday last year, SO took his 4 yr old daughter to a jewelry store to help pick out a diamond bracelet for me.  I KNEW something was up, because as soon as he dropped her off to her Mom that day, his phone started blowing up with text messages and he shut it off.  A month later, I found one of SO’s receipts to a jewlery store… it was for a bracelet and although it wasn’t expensive, I knew damn well it wasn’t for me.  Before I could ask SO about it, his daughter was over and was telling me about the bracelet she got her mom for her birthday (silver bracelet that had the letters MOM on it).  She was like “Yeah, Mom asked for one since you got one for your birthday.” 

My daughter (“M”)  is the same age as his daughter (“E”) , so when E comes over, she naturally wants to hang out with us.  I cannot tell you how many fights have been caused because E goes to the zoo, or to the lake, or plays a certain game for the first time with us.  Sometimes me and M will have to go our own way to do something before E comes over so we can avoid the whole situation entirely. 

PM me if you ever want to vent! 

Post # 10
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Miss Tattoo: completely agree.  and you wrote it sooo much better than me!!!

Post # 11
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mwitter80: This is pretty much exactly like my FI’s babymamadrama, minus the Disney.  It’s with EVERYTHING.  And I mean EVERYTHING.  From vacations down to new pairs of sneakers.  I have no advice, only empathy.  Sorry you’re in this suck situation, lady!  If you ever want to talk about the BMD as I call it, feel free to PM me!

Post # 12
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

@MissMedic:  😉  You live in MA, too!  Looks like we may need to meet up for a margarita or 3! 

Post # 14
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Zinzerena: ^_^ I just understand what it’s like as a mother of a small child of wanting to be there to share things. They only grow up once. I’m not saying the OP should just suck it up. The mom was def in the wrong here, but I also think that it should have been discussed before planning such a major trip.

Post # 15
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mwitter80: It is a shame. I agree. She should have had cooled down before making a jump decision. I don’t know why she just didn’t take your Fiance up on his offer of letting her come along. Since it’s a “first” both of them should be there to see it. She’s just trying to be first so she can say “hey! Look at me! I took MY son to Disney first! mwhahahaha!” Well…probably not exactly like that, but close. ^_^

Post # 16
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

@Miss Tattoo:  I agree.  Hopefully this doesn’t start a precedent of the ex wanting to do the “me first” competiton stuff. 

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