Baby name dilemma

posted 5 months ago in Names
  • poll: Would you still chose the name Tessa?
    Yes, who cares! You love it that's all that matters. : (47 votes)
    70 %
    No, not worth it. : (18 votes)
    27 %
    Other. Please explain. : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: London, UK

    I didn’t even know Tessa is derived from Theresa. I’ve only ever known Theresas to be shortened to Terri. I don’t think anyone will notice any sort of link between the names.

    But if your mum bringing it up regularly is going to really upset you then you need to decide if you love the name enough to deal with that consistent level of frustration.

    If I thought it was going to be a constant source of annoyance for me I would probably pick a new name. But if I thought my mum would get over it after a while then I would stick with it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2442 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    This will sound silly, but hang on. My mom liked the name Christine when she was expecting me. She had an ex-best friend named Mary Christina, who everyone called Teenie. 

    So my mom named me Dana. She didn’t want it to look like she was naming me Christine after Teenie. I wonder sometimes how my life would have gone if I was a Christy or a Chris. 

    Think about the future for the baby. You can tell your mom the truth, it has nothing to do with her, you just like the name. Who cares about her. Do lots of people in your orbit know her? If not, no explanations might be necessary. If anyone asks is she named for your mother, just say no, we like the name.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I also didn’t know that Tessa was a derivative of Theresa. Are you sure your mom would even make the connection?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1123 posts
    Bumble bee

    The Tessa I knew was christened Esther not Theresa.

    You have to decide what is more important. Your dislike of your mother seemingly happy in her idea that the child is named after her or your desire to call your child Tessa.

    If you don’t have much of a relationship with your mother than let it be water off a duck’s back for you. Who cares what she thinks or says? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1762 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would just make up that it came from your husband’s great grandmother’s nickname or something.

    Post # 7
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee

    I did not know Tessa is short for Theresa. Not to be a buzz kill but I was in this situation. I ended up deciding that it was not worth risking a life of potentially being reminded of bad memories of that parent. I also didn’t want anyone to think I named said child after that parent. I am glad I made that decision and love my childs name. However, only you can decide.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3252 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    I know two Tessa’s and AFAIK neither of them are derived from Theresa. Their name is literally just Tessa. 

    If you are worried about it though, have you considered naming her something else that could conceivably have Tessa as a derivative? 

    Otessa? Esther? Tesseract? Lol jk on that last one. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1215 posts
    Bumble bee

    Not that you need my stamp of approval, but I love the name! I tried to talk my husband into naming our daughter Tess, because I took a whole lot of literature classes in college, and I loved the Thomas Hardy novel Tess of D’Ubervilles.

    I digress…

    Sounds like a whole lot of responses here suggest that not everyone thought that Tessa derives from Teresa, so I’m betting that  in your friend and family circle the same will happen. If your mom thinks it’s for her? Let her be smug….just say that you both liked the name and that your daughter is not named after anyone….. although you could always tell a lie and use the novel reference if you like!

    Post # 10
    Member
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I would have never guessed that Tessa was derived from Teresa. I know someone named Tessa and her name is just Tessa. I wouldn’t bring it up unless your mom does but be honest from the beginning that she’s not named after anyone. It also may be smart to wait to announce baby’s name in case for some reason you change your mind and to avoid any drama that may result of it. From what I’ve gathered family members have less of an opinion when baby is already born and legally named.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    I think if you love the name you should stick with it. And if your mom makes it an issue and refuses to stop bringing it up, that’s probably a sign that you should take a step back from that relationship.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7678 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    ahartig :  I’d personally pass if you foresee a lifetime of your mother driving you nuts over it. That said – I do love the name Esther and that’d be a cute nickname. You’d be able to have your cute name and have it be clear that your daughter isn’t named for your mother! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    930 posts
    Busy bee

    Name your baby Tessa. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    462 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2019
      <li class=”time” style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px; max-height: 1000000px; border: 0px; list-style: none; float: right; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial initial;”>
      <li class=”time” style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 8px; max-height: 1000000px; border: 0px; list-style: none; float: right; background-position: 0px 0px; background-repeat: initial initial;”>The only Tessa I know is names Tessa. The three Theresa’s I know are named Theresa. I have never heard the two names being associated. My friend Theresa is T as a nickname and calling her Tessa would never cross my mind. 
    Post # 15
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee

    Just wanted to go against the grain to say that I knew the name was derived from Theresa. The real question would be whether or not your mom knows that. You could always play dumb if she tries to take credit and say you had no idea the names were related!

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